The Glitter Epidemic

The Glitter Epidemic

– You know, I’m all for trends.
It’s good to have trends. New things happen,
I welcome them. I’m a very open-minded person. There’s a new trend happening
right now I’m very against. Not against–like, so, so, so,
so, so, so against. It’s the unnatural,
unforgivable act of putting glitter in your hair. [audience laughter] Have you heard about this?
[audience laughter] I’m so upset–let me show you
what I’m talking about. Okay, look. It’s like–it’s–
[audience murmurs] To cover the roots or something?
I don’t know what they’re doing. I have two questions:
“Why?” and “What the hell?” [audience laughter] I mean, it’s like getting
a tattoo. It’s like,
it seems like a good idea, but it stays with you the rest
of your life, and it just looks worse and
worse as you get older. It’s just–
’cause you’re never gonna get that out, right? That’s never gonna come out. Look what else
is happening here. Glitter beard. audience: Oh! [laughter and applause] I don’t want to be in
the same picture as that. I want to get away from that. This is real. I’d rather see someone’s entire
meal that they just ate. [audience laughter] I’d rather know what they just
ate, in their beard, than see glitter like that. Another thing that’s starting– and these are all real things–
glitter armpits. I don’t have a picture of that,
’cause– [audience laughter] ’cause I don’t want to see it, and you don’t want to see it. Glitter armpits.
[audience murmurs] Why?
[audience laughter] Aren’t we trying to disguise everything about
the armpit area? Who’s walking around just going, “Look what I got under here.” [audience laughter] I’ve been on a crusade against
glitter my whole life. I don’t know if anybody else
feels like– I know it’s popular.
They put it in cards. They put in on wrapping paper.
They put it on– I just–I don’t know, I don’t
know why we have glitter. You know…right? Is anybody with me on this?
Do you understand? [cheers and applause] Because–
[cheers and applause] Okay.
[cheers and applause] And for the people that like it,
good for you, but it surprises us,
the people that don’t like it. You open something,
you’re like, “Aah!” And there’s–
[audience laughter] There’s no warning.
There’s like, you know, just like a show says there’s
adult content or whatever, there should be like,
“Warning: glitter.” Because one–right?
[applause] There should be something–
[applause] [applause] Because it just takes one. One speck will keep me busy
for two hours, ’cause I’m–
[audience laughter] I’m trying to get it off,
and then it’s there. And then I think it’s gone,
and someone goes, “You have glitter on your face.” It’s like “What, what?”
[audience laughter] I don’t understand
this trend at all. It’s sweeping the nation,
and soon, we’ll be sweeping up for
centuries to come. Whoever started it, I’d like to
have a word with you from at least ten feet away,
but– If any of you have glitter
roots, glitter beards, please take a step back,
’cause I’m gonna dance with you.

100 thoughts on “The Glitter Epidemic”

  1. Lost a lot of respect for Ellen. How can she not like all dis glitter. Jk I still love her but I'm not with her cuz I love glitter too cri.

  2. Love glitter but not on hair. Tinsel, now, uggh!!
    And love Elen, but she needs to wear something other than the continuous sweater.

  3. I'm watching this with glitter on my face, hair and jeans…Because I'm a PreK teacher and glitter should be part of the curriculum!

  4. Yeah I love glitter, especially really fine grain glitter that you use for makeup. I dig glittery christmas decorations too.

  5. Ellen's like that cool great Aunt we all had as kids that never married and lived in the city and gave good presents and told good stories.

  6. I watched a video about a girl who had an infection on her wrist because of her glitter hairband that she had on her wrist for a very long time.Look it up on youtube if any of you ever done that..I like things that sparkle,yes i do.but only glitter gel is something i'm okay with.And i'm definitely not okay with edible glitter (i heard about it somewhere :/ ) Now that i'm thinking about having glittery hair….Hell no!!

  7. Ok. I love Glitter on cards and Gel Pens and ribbons, but WHY HAIR?!?! This is worse than the Kylie Jenner Challenge

  8. my mom says " God gives us love, Satan gives us glitter. therefore we shouldn't touch it causes glitter is from satan

  9. I don't get the glitter roots!! I LOVE the glitter beards and Glitter pits is weird!! I'm going to do glitter pits when I hit 20K subs =) There is a time an place for glitter =)

  10. Glitters r like herpes, easy to get and can never get rid of – the best glitter analogy I heard on Zoe Hong's YouTube channel

  11. I love glitter and am standing up for it! 😀 I just made a whole art (self portrait) series on it.
    also, I think the glitter beards just look like art,.. otherwordly. Strange maybe, but beautiful.. like Matthew Barney kissing a sparkling fairy in the 1920s at a bohéme-party in Paris…<3

  12. Ellen I wish I could get a Segway and you make me smile when I am sad like right know my dad quit his job and my sister has to work more. I also don't want to share with my sisters a Segway (hoverbord) so four please I beg you.

  13. PEOPLE. Glitter in hair looks AMAZING. I did it and many people told me it looks gorgeous!😍 Also It comes out in one wash if you do it right! Thanks to Ellen trying to be funny people are thinking absolute shit in their minds

  14. @theellenshow I'm ok with glitter as long as it is contained and far away. I have finally figured out what I don't like about glitter…
    "spontaneous bedazzlement"
    I #antispontaneousbedazzlement campaign.

  15. Know what?I commented about a girl who had an infection on her wrist because of glitter but i can't seem to find it now o.O Just wanted to let all know about not using glittery hairbands.Glitter cuts and germs on your skin infects the area.

  16. To be completely honest, I think people should be able to do with their bodies what they will. If that includes expressing themselves with glitter, I am willing to deal.

  17. When I get glitter on my fingers, I want it off. And the best way to do so is using tape. For me, using scotch tape to unstick the glitter from my fingers is just so enjoyable!

  18. Fashion News, Gentleman's Grooming

    ⏮️Little is known about the barbaric peoples, Men in Moses' time, except that, as would be expected, their hair styles were relatively simple in conformity with the simpler, more rugged life they led. We do know that among many of them there was a tendency to shave the beard and let the mustache grow, which offended both the bearded and shaven peoples exceedingly. The Jewish men, in turn took to wearing their hair cut short, as did the Greeks and Romans.
    ⏩In 1847 there was a book bearing the title: Beard shaving and the Common Use of the Razor: an Unnatural, Irrational, Unmanly, Ungodly, and Fatal Fashion Among Christians. And in 1860 there was another called Shaving a Break of Sabbath and a Hindrance to the Spread of the Gospel.
    ▶️Are Beards the Present Fashion?
    The enormously long beards may require little but washing and combing. But the shorter, precisely cut beards worn by the fashion-conscious can be curled, powdered, starched, waxed, perfumed, and dyed. Don't forget sparkles ✨
    Men usually like to have a reasonable display of hair somewhere on the head. It may be the hair or it may be the beard.
    The King's Barber, for Trymminge and dressinge of the King's heade and bearde, took special regard to the pure and clean keeping of his own person and apparel, using himself always honesty in his conversation without resorting to the to the company of vile persons or of misguided women, in avoiding such danger as by that means he might do unto the King's most royal person.
    Lesser men had their hair trimmed in the public barber' shops, popular gathering places that served as a sort of clearing house for local gossip. Musical instruments were provided for those who cared to play them.
    Archaeologists know Gentleman's Grooming will never go out of style.
    Sarah-Ann Elizabeth
    Hairstylist, Fashion Designer, Gardener, Musician, and Equestrian Enthusiast.
    #HairIsFashion #FashionStartsWithHair #FashionsInHair Vanity Fair Vogue #MensFashion

  19. Has anyone else noticed her shirt? I’m so ocd that I couldn’t even finish this without her shirt bothering me SO FREAKING MUCH ARGH

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