We need to talk about male suicide | Steph Slack | TEDxFolkestone

We need to talk about male suicide | Steph Slack | TEDxFolkestone


Translator: Leonardo Silva
Reviewer: David DeRuwe Did you know that
by the end of this event, three men in the UK
will have died by suicide? I can still remember exactly where I was when my dad called me to tell me
that they’d found my uncle. He had taken his life, and it had taken three weeks
to find his body. Richard was 47. He was a doctor, super smart,
creative, autistic, he spoke new languages with ease,
he played and wrote music and he understood science and math
like no one else I knew. He was the kind of kid
you’d really hate at school, right? He saved people’s lives for a living, and yet, he decided to take his own. I’d like to take you back to 2010. I was at my new flat in Brighton,
having dinner with a friend, about to start my third year
of university, when my dad calls me to tell me
that they’d found my uncle. That feeling, that sinking feeling in your stomach
when your heart drops all the way down, and all you can think is, “What could I have done
to stop that from happening?” that feeling is not something
I wish anyone ever has to experience. Men are facing a crisis. How many men do you think
die by suicide each day in the UK? Have a guess. Raise your hand
if you think it’s under five. Raise your hands. Under five? Under 10? It’s 12. That’s one man every two hours. While we’re all enjoying our day, we’re going to lose 12 men
to suicide today. In my work, we talk a lot about the fact
that 76% of all suicides are male and that this silent killer is claiming
the lives of more men under 45 than anything else. And I can’t help but find myself
asking, “Why is that?” Doesn’t that trouble you? Because it troubles me. These are our brothers, fathers,
uncles, partners, sons – these are our friends, and they decide to die. I think there are some hard questions
we need to ask about male suicide. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong
with men having suicidal thoughts, but is there something wrong with how
we react to suicide being thought about? Let me explain. We’ll all die at one point
or another, right? Our bodies will fail us,
and we’ll die of disease or old age. Or we’ll have our lives taken from us,
maybe in a tragic accident. So, isn’t it perfectly normal to consider being in control
of our own death? Yes, suicide is intentional, but does that automatically make it wrong? I believe suicide is preventable, and I believe we should do
everything in our power to prevent it, but I also believe
there’s nothing inherently wrong in thinking about our own death. I’ve considered what it’s like to die. I’d like to ask you all
to close your eyes just for a minute. I promise nothing scary will happen
if you close your eyes. Now raise your hands
if you’ve ever had a really bad day that’s left you feeling
maybe stressed or upset. Okay. Keep your eyes closed
and keep your hands raised if that bad day or bad week or bad month has ever led you
to think about harming yourself or taking your own life. Thank you; put your hands down
and then open your eyes. That was about half of this room. I invite you to consider
what might be different if we didn’t see having
suicidal thoughts as wrong, and what that might mean for the men
in our lives thinking of suicide. Let’s go back to my uncle Richard. For most of his life, he experienced
what was most likely bipolar, and he’d had suicidal thoughts
on more than one occasion. In fact, six years before his death,
he attempted to take his life. The sad fact was
that Richard lived in a time where suicide wasn’t considered
something that you spoke about. It was swept under the carpet
and a cause of shame amongst families. There was something wrong with it. I mean, it was only in 1961
that we stopped making suicide a crime. Richard’s parents were medics –
an anesthetist and a nurse – and they didn’t understand suicide either. They didn’t think that it was real, and I think they were probably in denial
about what was happening with Richard. What happened to my uncle
isn’t my grandparents’ fault. Suicide is complex and rarely
attributed to any one factor. But, when I reflect
on Richard’s experience and on how we still struggle
to speak about suicide today, nothing’s really changed. We still struggle to talk about it. We label it as abnormal or unusual, and we make men wrong
for having suicidal thoughts. We say that they’re unwell,
or that they need to get better. And because we think of it this way, it stops us from being able
to talk about it, and we stay silent instead. And suicide remains
shrouded in this stigma. That stigma is only perpetuated by irresponsible
and sensationalized journalism that happens in the cases
of celebrity suicide. Just look at some of the reporting
around Anthony Bourdain’s recent death. When I was thinking about
how best to explain this point, it made me think about
sex and sex education. Stick with me, okay? (Chuckles) It’s really uncomfortable for us
to talk to kids about sex. It’s so tempting to think if we don’t talk about it,
it won’t happen, our kids won’t have sex. But we know that teenage pregnancy
and STIs are the risks if we don’t have that conversation, and we take those risks seriously. We introduced sex education into schools, and it’s now compulsory across the UK. And, I mean, it’s far from perfect, but what it has been shown to do is to improve positive attitudes
towards safe sex, to delay sex and to reduce teenage pregnancy
when used alongside other methods. With suicide, we know it’s a myth that talking about it will plant
that idea in someone’s head. And if suicide is claiming the lives
of more men under 45 than anything else, isn’t it time we just start accepting that suicidal thoughts
are something that happen, and instead start talking openly
and responsibly about it? I don’t think there’s anything wrong
with men having suicidal thoughts. But perhaps there is something wrong
with our expectations of men in society that lead them to have those thoughts. Let’s think about that. What does it mean to be masculine? What does it mean to be a man? Society tells us men should
be strong, dependable, and able to provide for their family. There’s very little research
into the reasons why men suicide, but the recent research that does exist speaks about how men’s high suicide rates
are linked to risk factors such as history
of being abused as a child, single status or relationship breakdown, and financial difficulty or unemployment. So that means that if you’re a man
and you’ve had a troubled childhood, you’re still searching for the one
or you’re worried about money, you’re at risk of suicide! How many of us know men in that situation? I mean, I’ve definitely
just described Richard, and I’ve probably described
half of millennial men in the UK. Unsurprisingly, these risk factors are linked to those
traditional notions of masculinity, of being strong, dependable,
and able to provide for your family. It seems as though when men feel
they can’t meet those expectations, they make themselves wrong for that. The research backs this up too. Just last year, there was a paper
confirming that there is a link between men feeling unable to fulfill the stereotypical
characteristics of masculinity and suicidal thoughts. Now, I imagine a lot of us in this room
don’t agree with those stereotypes, but some of us probably do,
or at least know someone who does. How many of us have been guilty of saying
“Man up!” at some point in our lives? I know I have. The conversation is starting to change. There are great campaigns
like BBC Three’s Real Men Do Cry and CALM’s L’eau de Chris, that are trying to shift those perceptions
of men and masculinity and encourage them
to be more open and vulnerable. But is it just men who are perpetuating
these outdated stereotypes of what it means to be a man and making themselves wrong for that? I don’t think so. I’d like us to consider
what our role is as women. Just last month, I was chatting
to a female friend of mine who described the guy she was dating
as “a sponge” and “too sensitive” because he opened up to her about some of the anxieties
he was facing in the relationship and how that was
making him feel vulnerable. I cannot begin to describe
the look I see on some women’s faces when I speak about how men I know
have broken down in tears in front of me. It’s somewhere between
discomfort and disdain. Men are already making themselves wrong for not living up
to these masculine ideals of being strong, dependable,
and able to provide for their families. They’re already
shaming themselves for that. But we’re compounding the problem
by making them wrong and shaming them for demonstrating
those open and vulnerable behaviors that we say we want them to show us. And we’re making them wrong for breaking out
of these rigid stereotypes and for just being fully human. To the women in the room, I’m not saying that male suicide
is our responsibility. I absolutely acknowledge that men have a huge role to play
in breaking down these stereotypes. But as a woman, I can only speak
to my experience and how I do see our role. What I’m inviting all of us to do,
regardless of our gender, is to reconsider the expectations
that we have of men in society and reconsider how we view men who have the courage
to show us their vulnerability. I’m inviting us to ask the men
in our lives how they’re really doing and if they’re struggling with anything
they haven’t told us about. And can we think about
how we respond to that? How we might choose
to empathize with their pain? Can we hold space for men
and listen to them, without trying to fix things, tell them that we love them and that it’s okay for them
to feel however they’re feeling? I’d like to tell you
about another guy I know. He’s a really good friend of mine;
I used to work with him, actually. His name’s Billy – he’s super smart, he’s genuine, authentic, kind, generous – he’s just the kind of guy
you really want to spend time with. So, imagine how I felt when Billy called me at 11:30 a.m.
on a Friday morning, three years ago, to tell that he’d spent
the night in hospital because the night before,
he’d tried to take his own life. He was 24. You’re probably thinking I felt shocked, panicked, uncomfortable. Actually, I felt honored. I felt honored that Billy felt
that he could talk to me about his suicide attempt
and how he’d been feeling. I thought back to my uncle, and I knew that I had a chance
to respond differently to Billy. I met him with compassion
and understanding, and a safe space to talk about
how he was feeling, without judgment. I didn’t make him wrong
for feeling the way that he felt or for attempting to take his life. I didn’t try to label him as suicidal
or as someone who needed to get better. I simply gave him a space
to talk about whatever he needed to. I saw what he told me
as incredibly courageous, and not something
he should ever be ashamed of. I can’t help but wonder
if this can make a difference. When I reflect on how my response
to Billy was entirely different to the response my uncle used to receive
when he spoke about suicide, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if we had different expectations
of men in society, if we had a different reaction to men who have the courage
to show us their vulnerability, and a different reaction to men
who have suicidal thoughts. Would men feel differently about suicide? I don’t have the answers, but I am inviting you
to consider the questions. Because I don’t believe there is anything
wrong with men having suicidal thoughts, but perhaps there is something wrong
with how we react to that and our expectations of men in society. So, what would happen if we all
have the courage to go home tonight and have conversations
with the men in our lives about how they’re feeling
and what they’re thinking, including their suicidal thoughts? Yeah, it’s going to be uncomfortable, I get that, but we do it with sex! Every parent dreads having
that conversation with their kids about how babies are made. But we know it’s important
to keep our kids safe, so we do it anyway,
no matter how uncomfortable we feel. I wish I could have had
a conversation with my uncle like the one I had with Billy. I wish I could have told him, “There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with how
you’re feeling or what you’re thinking. It’s okay. I’m here to listen to whatever
you need to say or talk about because your feelings are important. You’re important, and you don’t have to do this alone.” Thank you. (Applause) (Cheers)

Deadly CYBER BULLYING Epidemic Rising Among Young Men

Deadly CYBER BULLYING Epidemic Rising Among Young Men


Most of us have been cyber bullied at one
point. But according to a new report, teenage boys
get it the worst because they spend the most time staring at a screen out of anyone else. The average amount of time teenage dudes spend
looking at screen is, on average, 8 hours a day. So obviously, increase your time staring at
a screen, and there’s more of a chance you will encounter cyber bullying. But its clear that the problem is becoming
a lot worse, in many cases, its deadly. Welcome back to IO, I’m Charlotte Dobre. Raise your hand in the comments if you’ve
been cyber bullied. U know, with that little emoji. According to a Child wise report, teenage
boys get cyber bullied the most out of any other demographic. Cyber bullying can often lead to more severe
kinds of harassment. 22 year old Ryan Woollard from Leeds says
that throughout high school, dudes he had never seen before would come up to him and
punch him. Ryan doesn’t remember much, but he does
remember being on the ground and being punched in the face. He found out later that the bullies had filmed
the encounter and posted it online. Ryan was 12 years old at the time. A 12 year old kid doesn’t know how to deal
with that kind of humiliation, so Ryan was left feeling depressed and suicidal. And Ryan’s was not an isolated case. Axe deodorant in collaborate with Ditch The
Label and Promundo, spoke to over 1 thousand men aged 18-24. At least 3 out of 5 of the men surveyed had
been physically bullied. 3 out of 5 had been called names because of
the way they look, and 3 out of 5 had gossip and rumors spread about them online. Another shocking statistic, one third of all
the men surveyed were bullied for their perceived sexuality, as in, they were bullied if they
seemed gay, even if they weren’t. But you know what, it goes both ways. To top everything off, one third of the men
admitted to bullying another man. I mean, when it happens to you, you’re more
likely to do it to other people. But its clear that not everyone can play the
victim card if they continue to be part of the problem. One thing is for certain, social media is
changing the way people are harassed. Now it doesn’t only happen at school, it
can happen at all points in the day or night. And I will also say that it happens to girls
too, not only guys. But at least with men, there could be a clear
solution. Often times men are raised to be aggressive
and manly, and they have resorted to taking out their aggression on their peers, that
they perceive to be weaker or different. Men that are taught at a young age that they
need to reinforce this idea of toxic masculinity are far more likely to be cyberbullies. Then the kids that are bullied bottle up their
emotions, and that can lead to them taking out their aggression on their peers, like
with the case of school shootings. It’s a vicious cycle, and it starts with
how parents raise their children. Lets all try to break the cycle and try to
show a little kindness. There’s some food for thought, its time
to respond to some comments, and for this video, I have chosen to feature comments that
constitute as cyber bullying. Obviously I get nice comments too, I love
you guys, but everyone gets cyber bullied, including me. Shadow Ultra – I kinda like it without Charlotte. Unfortunately Shadow Ultra, this is my job. Unless I decide to stop coming to work and
live on the street, you’re going to have to get used to me being on this channel. NHF 76 – Damn shes so simple she saying
herbs as where its pronounced erbs. Actually pronunciation depends on where you’re
from and me pronouncing things differently from you does not make me ‘simple’. Bro I write at least 4 scripts a day, you
really think I’m simple because I say HERB and not erb? Mike Smith – Love the show but sorry Charlotte,
that’s a shirt my lesbian aunt would wear. Maybe I am your lesbian aunt mike, have you
ever thought of that. The video is over, and thanks for watching. If you enjoyed this video, you’ll love this
playlist over here. Obviously make sure you give this video a
thumbs up, subscribe and turn on notifications. That’s it for me and I’ll see you in another
IO video.

Sleepy teens: A public health epidemic | Wendy Troxel | TEDxManhattanBeach

Sleepy teens: A public health epidemic | Wendy Troxel | TEDxManhattanBeach


Translator: Joanna Pietrulewicz
Reviewer: Krystian Aparta It’s six o’clock in the morning, pitch black outside. My 14-year-old son
is fast asleep in his bed, sleeping the reckless,
deep sleep of a teenager. I flip on the light and physically
shake the poor boy awake, because I know that,
like ripping off a Band-Aid, it’s better to get it over with quickly. (Laughter) I have a friend who yells “Fire!”
just to rouse her sleeping teen. And another who got so fed up that she had to dump cold water
on her son’s head just to get him out of bed. Sound brutal … but perhaps familiar? Every morning I ask myself, “How can I — knowing what I know and doing what I do for a living — be doing this to my own son?” You see, I’m a sleep researcher. (Laughter) So I know far too much about sleep and the consequences of sleep loss. I know that I’m depriving my son
of the sleep he desperately needs as a rapidly growing teenager. I also know that by waking him up hours before his natural
biological clock tells him he’s ready, I’m literally robbing him of his dreams — the type of sleep most associated
with learning, memory consolidation and emotional processing. But it’s not just my kid
that’s being deprived of sleep. Sleep deprivation among
American teenagers is an epidemic. Only about one in 10 gets
the eight to 10 hours of sleep per night recommended by sleep scientists
and pediatricians. Now, if you’re thinking to yourself, “Phew, we’re doing good,
my kid’s getting eight hours,” remember, eight hours is the minimum recommendation. You’re barely passing. Eight hours is kind of like
getting a C on your report card. There are many factors
contributing to this epidemic, but a major factor preventing teens
from getting the sleep they need is actually a matter of public policy. Not hormones, social lives or Snapchat. Across the country, many schools are starting
around 7:30am or earlier, despite the fact that major
medical organizations recommend that middle and high school
start no earlier than 8:30am. These early start policies
have a direct effect on how much — or really how little sleep
American teenagers are getting. They’re also pitting
teenagers and their parents in a fundamentally unwinnable fight
against their own bodies. Around the time of puberty, teenagers experience a delay
in their biological clock, which determines when we feel most awake
and when we feel most sleepy. This is driven in part by a shift
in the release of the hormone melatonin. Teenagers’ bodies wait to start releasing
melatonin until around 11pm, which is two hours later than what
we see in adults or younger children. This means that waking a teenager up
at 6am is the biological equivalent of waking an adult up at 4am. On the unfortunate days
when I have to wake up at 4am, I’m a zombie. Functionally useless. I can’t think straight, I’m irritable, and I probably shouldn’t be driving a car. But this is how many American
teenagers feel every single school day. In fact, many of the, shall we say, unpleasant characteristics
that we chalk up to being a teenager — moodiness, irritability,
laziness, depression — could be a product
of chronic sleep deprivation. For many teens
battling chronic sleep loss, their go-to strategy to compensate
is consuming large quantities of caffeine in the form of venti frappuccinos, or energy drinks and shots. So essentially, we’ve got an entire population
of tired but wired youth. Advocates of sleep-friendly
start times know that adolescence is a period
of dramatic brain development, particularly in the parts of the brain that are responsible for those
higher order thinking processes, including reasoning, problem-solving
and good judgment. In other words, the very type
of brain activity that’s responsible for reining in those impulsive
and often risky behaviors that are so characteristic of adolescence and that are so terrifying
to us parents of teenagers. They know that like the rest of us, when teenagers don’t
get the sleep they need, their brains, their bodies
and behaviors suffer with both immediate and lasting effects. They can’t concentrate, their attention plummets and many will even show
behavioral signs that mimic ADHD. But the consequences of teen sleep loss
go well beyond the classroom, sadly contributing to many
of the mental health problems that skyrocket during adolescence, including substance use, depression and suicide. In our work with teens
from LA Unified School District, we found that teens with sleep problems were 55 percent more likely
to have used alcohol in the past month. In another study with over
30,000 high school students, they found that
for each hour of lost sleep, there was a 38 percent increase
in feeling sad or hopeless, and a 58 percent increase
in teen suicide attempts. And if that’s not enough, teens who skip out on sleep
are at increased risk for a host of physical health problems
that plague our country, including obesity,
heart disease and diabetes. Then there’s the risk
of putting a sleep-deprived teen, with a newly minted driver’s license, behind the wheel. Studies have shown that getting five hours
or less of sleep per night is the equivalent of driving with a blood
alcohol content above the legal limit. Advocates of sleep-friendly start times, and researchers in this area, have produced tremendous science showing the tremendous benefits
of later start times. The findings are unequivocal, and as a sleep scientist, I rarely get to speak
with that kind of certainty. Teens from districts
with later start times get more sleep. To the naysayers who may think
that if schools start later, teens will just stay up later, the truth is, their bedtimes stay the same, but their wake-up times get extended, resulting in more sleep. They’re more likely to show up for school; school absences dropped
by 25 percent in one district. And they’re less likely to drop out. Not surprisingly,
they do better academically. So this has real implications
for reducing the achievement gap. Standardized test scores
in math and reading go up by two to three percentage points. That’s as powerful as reducing class sizes
by one-third fewer students, or replacing a so-so teacher
in the classroom with a truly outstanding one. Their mental and physical health improves, and even their families are happier. I mean, who wouldn’t enjoy a little
more pleasantness from our teens, and a little less crankiness? Even their communities are safer because car crash rates go down — a 70 percent reduction in one district. Given these tremendous benefits, you might think, well, this is a no-brainer, right? So why have we as a society
failed to heed this call? Often the argument against later
start times goes something like this: “Why should we delay
start times for teenagers? We need to toughen them up
so they’re ready for the real world!” But that’s like saying
to the parent of a two-year-old, “Don’t let Johnny nap, or he won’t be ready for kindergarten.” (Laughter) Delaying start times also presents
many logistical challenges. Not just for students and their families, but for communities as a whole. Updating bus routes, increased transportation costs, impact on sports, care before or after school. These are the same concerns
that come up in district after district, time and again around the country as school start times are debated. And they’re legitimate concerns, but these are problems
we have to work through. They are not valid excuses for failing to do the right thing
for our children, which is to start middle and high schools
no earlier than 8:30am. And in districts around the country, big and small, who have made this change, they found that these fears
are often unfounded and far outweighed by the tremendous
benefits for student health and performance, and our collective public safety. So tomorrow morning, when coincidentally we get
to set our clocks back by an hour and you get that delicious
extra hour of sleep, and they day seems a little longer and a little more full of hope, think about the tremendous power of sleep. And think about what a gift it would be for our children to be able
to wake up naturally, in harmony with their own biology. Thank you, and pleasant dreams. (Applause)

Square dancing helps teens deal with a  suicide epidemic in their community | Twilight Dancers

Square dancing helps teens deal with a suicide epidemic in their community | Twilight Dancers


(lively fiddle music) – I’ve played the River
Red Jig so many times, since I’ve learned it, I’ve witnessed so
many great jiggers, and that’s my preference, just to play the River
Red and see others jig to my music. – I always get a
really good feedback on what I do on behalf
of my performances. They just say “Oh it’s
just jigging Des.” (laughs) No, it’s not just jigging, it’s actually something
I grew up doing, something I love to do. (kids mumbling) (Cherish giggling) – Cherish come here,
you have to come and comb your hair too. – CrossLake Competition
is happening right now, square dancing is on Saturday. Sometimes we win, and
sometimes we don’t, but it’s all about having fun. – [Abel] Cherish and
Demi you should start going to the school! – [Girl] Did Demi already leave? – [Abel] Yep, she’s outside. – [Girl] Okay. – They’re having a floor
hockey tournament outside, or something. (upbeat fiddle music) – [Desmond] I was
dancing since I was like 5 years old man (laughs), since I was a little boy. I remember my first time, I
was in my mom’s living room, and everyone was dancing,
everyone was dancing, and one of my brothers,
he’s like “Des. and that’s when I
was like, “Why, what “are you gonna do to me, man?” He’s like, And so I tried it, it didn’t
work out well. (laughs) It was funny, and
kind of embarrassing. This is what my brother
always used to say to me, “Just because you don’t
know how to dance now “Doesn’t mean that you’ll
never know to dance “in the future.” – [Woman] Okay Aleisha
and Anisha, ready? How! Yeah, you and Demi,
you and Chloe, how! (kids giggling) – I love teaching square
dancing, honestly. Not only for future generations, but to help them, it helps, even when
you’re going through a lot in life. Not only I’m teaching
them, but I’m also teaching myself. Not just to become
a better dancer, but to also to become
a better person. – Stage is right there! – Square dancing is fun, sometimes we get our
dances from YouTube, and then we bring a little
bit of our moves in there. – I basically use
square dancing for fun, to have fun, and I can
forget about stuff. – I like learning new
steps and all that, I really like the double step, it’s the certain step
everyone knows and does. If you know how to
do the double step you can do any type of
step in square dancing, jigging, and whatever. – One time, just one time. (yelling dancing directions) Okay, one, two, three, go. – [Cherish] When
the music starts you have to tell your
team “One, two, three”, and then you start
dancing all together. To know when you’re
going to make a move, you have to say “how”. How! (laughs) (lively fiddle music) – My thoughts on how
our land was colonized, and the residential came to be, the residential school,
it’s very sad because there was so much
hidden abuse behind it, and to take away the
important identity of who we were as a people in the beginning before
this ever happened. The new generation
that we’re having, we’re having a mixture of tunes, and we’re seeing a lot
of step dancing now, into the square dancing. – Square dancing
I think was always part of the culture growing up. Old times, eh, both my
grandpas played fiddle, and they held dances
in a local hall here. They would square dance there, and have a little competition. – [Woman] How! – I think square dancing
came from white people, (laughs) I don’t know. – The colonizers did
bring us square dancing in terms of teams
and what not, eh, but there was, of course,
the First Nations People incorporated some other
moves into the dance, eh? The colonizers, they
just used their feet, not so much the body, eh? Then First Nations
incorporated their dancing into the whole body, right? That’s the influence
the First Nations had on square dancing. – I know other people
that square dance but, sometimes they don’t want to, some kids like to judge, and act how they dance. Bullying, it happens
a lot, and suicides. (slow sad music) – Everybody out there,
doesn’t matter if it’s child, going on to elder,
everybody’s in pain. “Why would they do such a thing, to take their own life?” Some people don’t even
know how to express themselves no more because, there’s barely people
out there listening. – Some people commit suicide
because they get bullied. People like to bring down
each other on social media. They like to judge,
and then tease, and everything else. – Growing up in
my community here, bullying has always
become, main thing, either you’re a part of it, or you’re the one doing it, or you’re the one
getting bullied. I’ve been a part of both sides, but I’ve learned as I grew
up not to be like that, because I was losing friends, and I was only picking sides, and I knew that was
wrong, and right away I switched up my mind,
and bullying hurts. – I kind of do like living here, and I kind of don’t. Sometimes I don’t like
staying here because of the bullying. – I don’t like
bullying just because, I lost a good friend of
mine to it, to suicide. It was really hard. (melancholic music) – I haven’t danced
last festival, and I didn’t dance
in Indian Days, due to the suicide epidemic, and what was going
on, I couldn’t do it. The most tragic thing
that happened to me in my life is losing a brother. It was very devastating. I grew up in a violent place. Couldn’t focus on school
due to getting bullied, because of the color I wear. We kind of joined that violence, but that’s the past,
a past that I probably never want to go back to, never. (upbeat jig music) (tap shoes clinking) (energetic fiddle music) – When I play I always
recognize my community. They’ve been a
big support of me, from when I first started. This is me, and if
you can accept that, I promise you,
hate me or love me, that I’m gonna be the
best person as I could be, and showing my
respect for my people, and other people of
my Native culture. Pimicikamak Cree all over. – [Kelson Voiceover] It’s
kind of different how people dance, eh? How
they make their moves. – [Keshton Voiceover]
It’s probably coming from your spirit inside, that is letting you free
of what you’re doing, it’s going with the
music, the rhythm. – [Demi Voiceover] Before I
go on stage I’ll be nervous, you know when you
get butterflies, but then you know
it’s gonna be good when you get butterflies. – [Kassidy Voiceover] Five
seconds, and the music starts, and you know when to dance,
so you just start dancing. – [Cherish Voiceover] Kind of
nervous when you get on stage, cause everybody’s
looking at you. “Okay, do I remember
the dance?”, and stuff like that. – People are dreaming
of what cars, or a nice house, or
something, you know? My dream was to dance
with my brother, to light up that stage. (shoes tapping rhythymically) (lively jig music) (audience cheers) (audience cheers) – [Host] Way to go
there, Twilight Dancers! – I’ve seen who’s shoe
that broke, I’ve seen it, But tell her, that didn’t
stop her from you guys getting the crowd
going, you guys did! – [Woman] Everyone check
their shoe right now! – That’s how you dance! (cheers) Make the crowd go wild! (lively fiddle music) – The last fewest words
my brother told me, those words that got me
going everyday in life, throughout those years. (speaks in foreign language) Which means “Never give up.” And so I took it. – [Host] Twilight Dancers. – [Host] Desmond Colombe. (melancholy music) – I do believe that there
does come a time where us youths think about our lives, and what we wanna do, and it’s then on our choice to follow those dreams and
the right steps to take. We have the opportunity,
we just have to make them happen,
and when we do get them, make sure you don’t hold back, cause you might regret it
for the rest of your life. (melancholy music) – Everybody in this
community, as we speak, is a survivor. They survived through that 2016. And through the roughest,
the roughest year, toughest. We’re hurt, we’re
damaged, we’re broken, but we’re still standing strong. That’s the important thing
about this community, no matter what happens, to each and everyone
of us out here, all I know, that every
individual in this community, is one tough warrior. (rapid jig music) (crowd cheering) (upbeat jig music)

Emotional support animals: has America’s ‘epidemic’ gone too far?

Emotional support animals: has America’s ‘epidemic’ gone too far?


Right, should I shut this before
he tries to get out? Emotional support animals, known as ESAs,
have exploded across America in recent years. With controversy never far away. Dexter the peacock, an emotional support animal, had a ticket but United wouldn’t get him on board. Every time a peacock appears in an airport
or a hamster gets flushed down the toilet, the row around their use ignites again. I’m not going to let them take my goat. ESAs are protected by law but critics
argue the system is being exploited by pet owners without genuine mental health problems. That’s just a bit of velcro, right? Now with airlines and stores across the US drawing up their own rules around animal access, has the rise of the emotional
support animal gone too far? So Wally is going to be this long. Or are the more exotic animals sensationalising and diluting a growing
solution to mental health conditions? The real epidemic is the mental health
problem in America. Joe Henney’s ESA is one such animal. Hello Joe. How you doing? A four-year-old American
alligator rescued from Disney World in 2016, months after a bigger gator had attacked
and killed a two-year-old boy. That’s about his meal size. When was the last time he ate? About three months ago. Three months? Well, he’s eaten once in three months. What did he eat? A cow? No, he just ate two chicks. Well, you’ll never gonna grow to be 15ft
without a better appetite. I really thought I would be more nervous but because he’s so calm… That’s how we started tv shows back then. Joe is no stranger to the camera, having presented his own hunting and fishing show 20 years ago on local TV. I would not recognise you. Back then, it was all about me. I was always into animals,
I loved hunting, I loved fishing. I wasn’t an emotional person back then,
I was a very selfish, ‘all for me’ type of a person. I never thought I’d ever go to heaven… You know, it didn’t take much
to push me off the edge to fight. We were walking down the street and I said:
‘I’m gonna knock out ten people with ten shots.’ the third or fourth person out
came through and I reached up and I hit him…
when I hit him, I knew the sound was different because I broke his neck. He lived but he is now today even a paraplegic What I did … I destroyed
his life, I destroyed him. Just because I was cocky. And I went into a real bad depression. I went to the doctor about it and they wanted to give me
antidepressant pills and when I took one pill and I hated how it made me feel. So I didn’t take more, I called them and said,
‘I am not taking this pill’. Stroking him is kind of addictive. While he is a little more exceptional
than most gators, he’s really super laid back, but I guess because the way we’ve
handled him, he knows when somebody needs a hug. Buddy you are cold, ain’t you? When I went to the doctors, they said, How are you getting on with depression? Wally the gator. They said, ‘are you serious?
OK, that’s better than any pill that I can give you.’ Why don’t you get Wally registered
as a support alligator? I said, are you nuts? An alligator? How’s going to register
Wally as an alligator? ‘Hey, didn’t he help you through depression?’ Yeah. ‘Well, that’s emotional support.’ He loves being petted,
he loves giving hugs. Because he’s a wild animal, it only takes
one moment where he is misbehaving and something really potentially quite
serious could happen. He literally could tear a foot off me. Yeah. People have been
bitten by service dogs. Yeah. Service dogs!
Very well-trained! Most ESAs are neither as unusual
or as placid as Wally and their presence on university campuses
has been at the frontline of the debate, with critics arguing they are nothing
more than a crutch for young people at a time when they should be outside
their comfort zone. Hello! Hi! When I registered my emotional support animals,
they said I was their first guinea pig, so I was kind of their
trial for guinea pigs… You were the guinea pig guinea pig. Do you worry at all that, because
your guinea pigs are at home that you are not pushing
yourself outside of your house enough, to battle against the anxiety issues you have? I have so much schoolwork
that I am a lot of the times in here, but what I do is, the people that I know,
I offer: ‘Hey, why don’t you come over, we can work on school work together’. It can also help them because I do have
another friend who has anxiety and she loves the guinea pigs. Is it working? I definitely think so, absolutely. If I am having a really bad day, I’ll just hold
her and her squeaks just make me smile, like things like this, it just calms you down. Hi. How’s it going? Oh, there we go. It was inevitable really, wasn’t it? Thank you, yeah. I’ve just been urinated upon
by a guinea pig… Oh, that’s fun! Would Corvo like that?
Will he be upset? OK, hi Corvo. Are you aware of the sort of controversies
around emotional support animals? There’s a lot of people that will fake
paperwork in order to have an animal with them because
there’s a lot of apartments around here that don’t allow any form of animals. I am going to need you to move, sweetie. Oh my goodness! Yeah… Oh Corvo! Me managed to find the corner. Problems like this are exactly the reason
why a lot of housing doesn’t allow animals in it. Yeah, most universities don’t want to risk it either. Damage like this seems a small
price to pay for your mental wellbeing. Yeah, it’s … I am more than willing to cover that
at the end of the semester, it was honestly a mistake. Naughty Corvo. Despite the potential for animal-related accidents, a recently opened pet-friendly dorm means even non-ESA animals have a place on the Lock Haven campus. We have three hamsters, one cat
and five rabbits. Wow, OK. If you asked me 10 years ago,
I would have been absolutely, ‘there’s no way!’ Everybody’s vying for the same group of
students to get into higher education. Anything you can do to make your college
attractive to students is going to work. Right, yeah. Do you know, I’ve not handled
a hamster for a number of years… Has anybody dropped her? What’s the greatest height she’s fallen from? As of right now, she hasn’t really fallen yet. OK, right, so the pressure is on for it not to happen. I wanted to get an emotional
support animal but then we got this pet policy. It’s basically the same thing,
it’s just less of an inconvenience to get it all sorted with the disability
services and all that stuff. Do you feel that a pet can be as good as a drug in
treating mental health problems? I think so. I mean, with me having these animals,
it makes me think about taking care of them, and I can’t take care of them if
I can’t take care of myself, so this is a more natural way of having
those happy hormones around. It’s not just in the US where ESAs are triggering debate. We’ve had newlyweds in here spending their night… Wow! In this one here. OK, I might not have this room. Is it haunted? Absolutely, yeah. In Canada, Toronto native Bill Steel ran into trouble when he relocated to a former jail in New Brunswick which he now runs as an Airbnb. I mean, they say prison’s
a bit like a hotel but this one isn’t, is it? Yeah. Although it is! It is. Princess! This is Mama. This is Deputy, Deputy goat,
and this is Princess. Hey Princess! Hey Princess! Why goats? It was always my dream,
with my son, to have goats and I got the goats. There is a need for them, which is to deal
with my depression. Part of that is obviously losing my son. He’s with me all the time, yeah. I had to make funeral arrangements
three or four times for my son… Before he died? …they said,
‘we don’t know if he’s going to make it to the next day, you have to talk to him about
where he wants to be buried.’ Where do you want to be buried, Billy? You want to be buried here,
you want to be buried there? Do you want to be cremated? Do you want to be … whatever. No parent should ever have to do that. I feel I died the day my son died. Does that thing work? You know, when people ask that,
they get an automatic drive in it, that’s my rule. Bill took me on a tour of
Dorchester, the village he now calls home but with which he has an ongoing legal dispute. They say his goats are farm animals
and as such, are banned from the village. I’ve had a lot of support in the
community for the goats, I haven’t had anybody that lives
here ever say anything bad about them. Really, nobody? Nobody, nobody ever. That’s the municipal office right there. So the problem is stemming from that office there? Right there. Which is very close to your property. It’s right in my parking lot. Have you read these documents? I agree with most of these documents.
Basically, it says, he’s got three goats. This was served to me in person
by a sheriff. Oh, right. Is this piece of paper all you feel you
need to win the court case? Yes. It says: Mr. Steele has been suffering from
resistant major depression for the past two years, his goats have been beneficial
to his mental health and I recommend that he keeps them as emotional support animals. And that’s signed by your physician. My physician, yeah. I am not giving up my goats. And I think the doctors
and the people in society are saying, hey, if it helps him, why not? same with cannabis and stuff like that, does it help? I don’t know but a lot of
people say they are better, that’s good enough for me. That’s good enough for me. Much of the anger around the explosion
of ESAs has been directed online, where multiple companies have sprung up
offering certification that critics suggest is nothing more than a
money-making scam. I travelled to Wisconsin to meet Prairie Conlan. He’s good for an emotional support dog. Clinical manager for one such company,
CertaPet. So I am going to go through the process of registering my mythical emotional support animal, So you can definitely see what it looks like. Straight away you have to give your
payment information… Just like when services are rendered, when you go to the therapist office or the doctor,
you pay right when you start. If I am trying to get my pet certified,
it’s quite easy to know which type of answer will get the response you’re after. Absolutely. You’re going to have people trying to game the system, they try to game every system. How many pets has CertaPet certified? We average about 1.2 million users per month,
less than half a percent of that actually get an emotional support animal letter. There is no doubt that emotional support
animals have exploded in recent years, some have labelled it an epidemic. Are there people making money from it? Is there something uncomfortable
about the two things there? Well, for sure. Not only is it horrible for the clients that actually need it,
it’s horrible for me when I’ve been threatened ‘we’re going to get your license,
you’re a terrible person’, I mean … terrible things. And I’ve thought, do I want
to continue to do this? And the thing is, every single time the
answer for me has come back yes. Prarie took me up to meet her horse, True, at a stables nearby. Look horses scan you,
they see what you really have and they’re reading you
because you know we have different energies. Don’t stand behind a horse,
I know that much. Can you tell me why mental health
is so important to you? I’ve always had an advocate’s heart,
I like to stand up for people that are different. You know, being an adopted kid
in a small town and then siblings of different races
that were adopted. We were always different. For me, I always
felt like I could stand up for myself. People that have mental disabilities, anxiety, depression, they can’t stand up for themselves a lot of times. We don’t need to cheat them out of an experience just by quickly getting them in and out
of an office and adding to the opioid addiction. Something as ‘silly’ as being able to sit with
your dog and take your dog on a plane. I see it change lives
everyday. That’s a pretty amazing feeling so… There may be limited scientific
evidence that animal-assisted therapy actually works. But the anecdotal
evidence is firmly in their favour. He was only that long when we got him. I want our kids to see me hold that alligator. With the stigma around mental health
finally being confronted and emotional support animals offering many people a
genuine alternative to medication, a compromise needs to be struck between
the rights of the individual, those of society as a whole
and the animals themselves. Oh my gosh. Oh, he’s just so adorable. We need something like this to give us
attention and that was huge to me. He puts a smile on your face, doesn’t he? Yes, he does.

How to Solve the Stress Epidemic | Dr Angela Armstrong | TEDxLeamingtonSpa

How to Solve the Stress Epidemic | Dr Angela Armstrong | TEDxLeamingtonSpa


Translator: Leonardo Silva
Reviewer: Mile Živković Seven years ago,
I thought I was going to die. I didn’t! (Laughter) Back then, I worked
in a global consulting firm, leading change programs. Now, I’m an independent
leadership development consultant. Seven years ago, I learned the hard way that my body is not designed
to absorb the level of stress I was subjecting it to, and I learned some lessons about
thriving and surviving in corporate life, lessons I believe
can literally save lives. I’m normally a very private person. Being vulnerable on a public stage
is a massive stretch for me, but the potential to save lives
is a compelling reason to be here. My hope for today is that, by sharing my story
and a simple three-part model, you will realize that the key
to the stress epidemic is in your daily habits and you will commit
to making small daily changes that will improve quality of life for you,
for business, and for society. You may think that solution
sounds too simple. It is simple, and simple works. Workplace stress has reached
epidemic proportions. Imagine the sound and energy of a full-capacity crowd
at Wembley Stadium cheering, and now imagine that same crowd
observing a minute’s silence on Remembrance Sunday. At any one point in the UK, 40,000 voices are not heard
in the workplace because they are
on long-term stress leave, due to workplace stress. The total number of working days
lost due to stress in the UK last year is the equivalent of 50,000 people
taking one year off work. It is costing UK businesses billions. The solution, I believe, is to act on three parts
of the stress ecosystem: banter, beliefs, and body. Banter is the everyday conversations
you hear in the workplace. You’ve probably heard the expression
“work hard, play hard.” At the consulting firm, my peers were well-educated and ambitious,
and we thrived on meeting deadlines. A 60-hour workweek was normal, and at weekends,
I had a packed social calendar. After the global financial crisis,
the banter changed: to “work harder and stay later.” That’s when I became
a member of stress club, and it seems the first rule of stress club
is you must talk about stress club. You know how it goes: everyone wearing stress,
like a badge of honor, competing for who has the most stress. “Oh, well, I worked 80 hours last week.” “You think that’s bad? I’ve got to give a presentation
to the board this afternoon, and I only just found out.” “It’s OK for you! I’m trying
to raise a family as well.” And so, it goes on. Have you got your badge? Banter is important because
your conversations are contagious, and so are the moods associated with them. When you talk about being
overworked, stressed, and tired, you create an atmosphere of stress. You’re literally causing more stress
just by talking about it! And pretty soon, the banter
that you hear every day in the office becomes the voice in your head. And if you’re thinking,
“Voice? What voice?,” that’s the voice! (Chuckling) Maybe you’ve had thoughts like I did, “As long as I hold it
all together, I will be fine.” “I can’t stop. People are relying on me,
at home and in the office.” “I don’t have time to rest and recover.” And your beliefs are important because your brain
is nature’s great pharmacy. Whenever you believe you’re stressed, you trigger a biological
survival response, and you dump stress hormones
into your body. Primed with cortisol and adrenaline, you are ready to fight a predator
or run to safety, and as soon as the threat has passed, your body initiates
the rest and digest cycle it eliminates the stress hormones, and reactivates your digestive system,
your immune system, your sex drive. The trouble is, for every hour that we put
stress hormones into our body, it takes several hours to eliminate them, and a lot of people are running a backlog. The long-term consequences of that buildup
of stress can be really significant. My friend, Sam, a fit and healthy male, in his 30s, had a cardiac arrest from stress. He died at his desk! And still, I thought, “It can’t happen to me.” Seven years ago, at 5 o’clock, one cold Monday morning, I was gripping the bathroom sink as excruciating pain
ripped through my chest. And I remember thinking, “No!
I’m only 38! I can’t die yet!” And that’s all I remember of that day. I ended up taking three months off work. I had burned out. I suffered a physical and mental collapse
due to workplace stress. I didn’t recognize myself. Overnight, I had gone
from being a top performer to being afraid to walk
to the corner shop. Hero to zero. Although I had friends who came and walked me most days, those months were the loneliest
I’ve ever known. So, what are the solutions? You decide to leave behind
the banter and the beliefs of stress club, and you drag your weary body
across the road to join resilience club. Resilience is the ability
to take the changes and challenges of life in your stride
and keep walking forward. And the benefits reach
far beyond the workplace, into your personal relationships,
and your parenting. Now, that is a ripple effect
worth striving for. During my time coming back from burnout, I couldn’t hold a conversation, and it took me two months
to be able to drive a car. I had to build my daily habits
from the ground up. Imagine having to follow a checklist to make sure that you got
showered, you got dressed, and you remember to eat something. We all have a basic understanding
of how our bodies generate energy: nutrition, exercise, hydration, and rest, but it’s not enough to know what to do. We must also do what we know. The key to resilience
is in your daily habits. I certainly learned that burnout
could happen to me. I also found out who my true friends were. And the most important lesson I learned: stress is a choice. “Stress is your choice.” The first time I heard that, I thought, “Are kidding me?
It’s all their fault!” But a deeper part of me realized that that new belief was the only way I was going to survive
re-entry to the workplace. You can choose to blame and complain, or you can decide to take action. Taking action is a choice. Taking action is your choice. On my road back from burnout, I had to face the very
uncomfortable truth that I had become a stress junkie. It was not enough
to focus on my own stress. No, I wanted a piece
of everyone else’s too. Do you worry about things
that are outside your control? I had to learn to get very clear
about exactly what was within my control and deliver that with passion. I had to physically and mentally
let go of everything else. Maybe you need people’s approval. I had to learn to set boundaries,
and say no occasionally, because I know that,
when I take care of my resilience, I have more to offer others. Despite all that I had learned
and all that I had been through, when I returned to the workplace, within one week,
I had gone back to my old habits. Fortunately, I paid attention, I looked out for my early warning signs, and I recommitted to my new habits. At first, it took discipline to take 20-minute
lunch breaks in the fresh air when everyone else
was eating at their desk, but I knew that I concentrated
better in the afternoon when I did. And so, I stuck with it, and pretty soon, I had company, because the first rule of resilience club
is you must talk about resilience club! How would it be if,
instead of “work hard, play hard,” you chose “work hard,
play hard, and rest hard”? How would it be if you shared
that your concentration was really sharp because you had a good night’s sleep, or that the stress of yesterday
was left in the gym? We can all change the conversation, one conversation at a time. As for my story, I trained as a coach and remained
in corporate for further three years before starting my own business. As a coach, it is my job to encourage people
into their stretch zone, so that they can achieve
their full potential. I consider it a duty of care, therefore, to make sure that they also have
the resilience habits to support that ambition. For the last four years,
I’ve been going into companies, training them to be more resilient, and I’ll continue to do that
as long as there’s a need, but what compels me
to be on a public stage today is that we are about to have
a paradigm shift in the way that we work, and if stress club goes underground, the threat of a burnout
epidemic is very real. The millennial generation
are now in management positions. They grew up in a digital world. They expect to be able to contribute
their talents from anywhere. Within the next three years, over half of the UK full-time population
will be working remotely, at least half of the time. It is easy to hide how stressed you are
in a virtual environment, and you won’t find it so easy
to look out for each other. The key to resilience
is in your daily habits. You can change the banter,
one conversation at a time. You can choose to believe
that stress is a choice, and focus only on what matters most. You can pay attention
to what your body is telling you, and decide to take actions to thrive. What small daily habits will you take to make sure that your banter, beliefs,
and body are on the road to resilience? Thank you. (Applause) (Cheers)