(Laughing) Bro, did you know you eat an average of one
spider a night? (Cough) Whatever dude, that’s a total myth. Statistics like that are always made up. (Slurp) No way, bro. It’s totally legit. (Chuckling) Shhhhh, bros, be quiet. Don’t wake him up. (Snoring) [Eerie Music] (Laughing) (Pop) (Crunch) (Squish) (Swallows) (Chewing) (Grunts) (Critter Noises) [Eerie Music] (Spits) [End Credits]
Ever since I was a young
boy growing up in Brooklyn, I have loved Spider-Man. I read the comics. I had the lunchbox. I slept on a Spider-Man pillow
until I was married, I think. [LAUGHTER] And now a dream I had on that
pillow is about to come true. Because on July
2, I will be part of the new Spider-Man movie. Thank you. [APPLAUSE] Now, usually Marvel is very
secretive about the footage, releasing scenes
from these movies. But in this case,
for some reason, they were OK with
me showing this exclusive extended excelsior
scene from Spider-Man: Far From Home. [MUSIC PLAYING] [DING] Hey, Joe. Picking up. Hey, Peter Parker,
my number one customer. [APPLAUSE] Fourth time this week. Yeah, well, you know me. I just love dry cleaning. That’s what I love about you. A lot of these Millennials, they
don’t care about dry cleaning. They’ve got washing machines. It’s disgusting, quite frankly.
It really is. It’s sad. It’s really sad. Anyway, let me
get your stuff here. Oh. That’s you, right? [LAUGHTER] – That’s me, yes.
– All right. Thank you so much.
Oh my god. Hey, kid, listen. It’s, uh, not my business to
get into your personal balls or whatever. But [LAUGHTER] can I
ask you a question? Mmm, yeah, sure. Why you get your pajamas
cleaned every two days? [LAUGHTER] Because I, uh– I sweat a lot when I sleep. I have a sweaty syndrome. Sweaty sleep syndrome.
– You’re a sweaty Betty. [LAUGHTER]
– That’s right. That’s correct. My brother was
like that, you know. – He was?
– Oh, yeah. Shame. He used to– it
was like a puddle. [LAUGHTER]
We slept on bunk beds. He’d be on top dripping
on me all night. – Oh, man.
– It’s disgusting. It’s not good. What about the holes? The hole– the holes? Yeah, the holes. It almost looked like
if, uh, some kind of a mechanical
octopus arm had taken a chunk out of the fabric. [LAUGHTER] That’s easy to explain. Um, it’s the, uh, um– – Moths?
– Moths. That’s what I thought it was. Massive moths, right. Anyway, I don’t see
my mask in here. Do you have my mask? Oh, Connie, where’s his mask? Under the counter, stupid. [LAUGHTER] Underneath– oh, all right.
All right. Hey, Connie. Oh, here we go. That’s you, right? No, that’s Matt’s mask. Mine’s the one with
the white eyes. Oh, right, right,
right, right, right. All right, here you go. [LAUGHTER] That’s Wade’s mask. White eyes with– Connie, it’s Wade’s mask. OK, I don’t care. Red one.
Little red. White eyes.
That’s you, right? Yeah, that’s the one.
Thank you. Thank you.
– Beautiful. All right. NEWSCASTER (ON
TV): Breaking news. New York’s very own
Spider-Man swung into action this afternoon
on the Brooklyn Bridge, saving a bus full of senior
citizens from certain death. Thanks to the masked
hero’s efforts, all 35 people on the bus
returned home safely. [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING] That nutball on TV, he’s got
the same goofy PJs you got. He does. Hey, I know what’s
going on here. You are an influencer. [LAUGHTER] What are you on,
Instagram or Snapface? Snapface. Yeah. Connie, he’s on Snapface. Oh, I like Snapface. [LAUGHTER] Hey, give the place
a little plug maybe? – For sure.
– That’d be great. Absolutely. You truly are the best,
and most gullible, dry cleaner in all of New York. That’s what they say. That’s what they say.
– All right. – I’ll see you tomorrow, kid.
– I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh, hey, tell
your buddy Banner to get some bigger pants. He’s busting through
them like crazy. [LAUGHTER] He’s pretty angry, but
I’ll try and tell him. I’m not a miracle worker. Yes, you are, Joe. See you later. Thanks, kid. Hey, Connie, let’s go in
the back and make love. OK, Joe. [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC PLAYING] [APPLAUSE] Thanks, everybody. I’m pretty happy
with myself too. Thanks. If you liked that video, click
the subscribe button, but only if you’re ready for commitment.
LORRAINE CINK: We have the
most spectacular entrances from Spider-Man, the
1981 animated series. Wow, Spidey sure is
something isn’t he? [MUSIC PLAYING] Great, no windows to break. Guess again, web head. [GLASS SHATTERING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [THUD] You done great, Kingpin. I’m not even perspiring. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Hey. Hurry! Before Spider-Man comes! Nevermind him! [ZAP] He’ll– [GRUNTING]. Tsk, tsk. You shouldn’t talk
with your mouth full. Shall I fetch your
weapons, master? Yes. But first, comb your hair. Your lack of grooming
is intolerable. Not bad, Petey, old boy. Not bad. [SCREECHING] The Vulture! What’s happening? The weather report
was for a perfect day. [WIND BLOWING] [THUD] [LAUGHTER] Fools. The weather is perfect,
but no one can forecast the coming of the Sandman. [MUSIC PLAYING] Enjoy your meal, Sabretooth. It’ll be your last
in a savage land. [GROWLING] Out of my way! [SCREAMING] Hold it, folks. Have no fear. Spidey’s here. Gee, don’t everyone
thank me at once. Mommy! Help! Well, I ain’t no mommy,
but I know a cry for help when I hear one. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, we’ve all
been there, right? You’re shopping
for men’s clothes, and another grown man
dressed as a vulture shrieks into the building. Yeah. How else are you going
to know you look good? Also, can I get me that
outfit from Kraven? [LAUGHTER] I mean, there’s no better way
to wrestle anything, really. You’re not wrong. Yeah, well listen. We have only scratched the
surface of this amazing show. But tell us some of
your favorite moments with the hashtag
#earthsmightiestshow. And if you want even more
of Peter Parker rocking that yellow turtleneck
and a leisure suit, be sure to check out Spider-Man
the animated series from 1981 on the new streaming
service, Disney Plus, where you can also catch tons
of other animated series. That’s right.
We’ll see you next time. I’m Langston. I’m Lorraine. And this is Marvel– Your Universe. Oh, who’s flapping in now? No, enough.
Enough. – [CAWWING]
– Vulture, relax. [MUSIC PLAYING]
-Guys, here’s how this works. We’re going to have a number
of mystery objects brought out in front of us, and our job is to guess
what each one is. The catch is that we have
to figure out by touch alone. [ Laughter ] Honestly, I — really,
I said it’s a fun game, but I really don’t mean that. -Have there ever been actual
dangerous things in there? -Yeah.
-Okay. Okay. -There’s been one
or two dangerous things. -Okay.
[ Laughter ] -Usually towards the end,
though, right? -Oh, great. Whatever. I’m down. I like to touch. -Since I’m the host,
I’m going to go first. -Okay.
-All right. Let’s get our first object.
All right. And you can go in front,
if you want. And just —
-Okay. -I’ll have 30 seconds
to identify what this is. [ Laughter ] Okay. Is it — -So there are scary ones,
apparently. Okay. [ Laughter ] -I’m going to freak out.
I’m freaking out. I swear to you, this is
not my game at all, man. I’m like — [ Screaming ] Don’t make noise. Is it
going to move or something? I swear —
-Come in through the side. -This is the last time
I’m playing this game ever. I just really don’t
like this at all. Oh!
-You’re fine! -Oh!
-Oh, my God. -Oh! ♪♪ -Butter?
Is it sticks of butter? [ Ding! ]
-Oh, my God! ♪♪ [ Laughter and applause ] -Get this out.
-It seems so easy. -Yeah? It seems so easy,
well, get ready, you’re about to play this game.
Oh, man. Get ready.
Oh, you are good at that. All right, here we go. [ Audience groans ] -The reaction is the worst part. [ Laughter ] I make fun of it.
I’ve been watching this game. -Ugh! Ew!
-Stop it. [ Laughter ] -Ow!
-What was that? [ Laughter ] Okay, I’m going this side.
-Okay, no! [ Screaming ]
-[ Screaming ] What is it? Jimmy!
[ Laughter ] -Trust me, I won’t —
seriously, I’m being serious. -Oh.
-Do whatever you touch with that hand.
Yeah, that’s it. Yep. Go right in. -No. -I promise you. Trust me. That hand. That hand. -I’m sweating now.
-Trust me. It’s that hand. You’ve got it. You’ve got it.
That’s it. Feel what that is. You can squish it
between your fingers. -No!
Oh, God, is it an ant farm? [ Laughter ] [ Buzzer ]
[ Sad tuba plays ] -It’s not an ant farm.
It was — It’s a sand castle. -Oh.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-That’s close. I mean, ant farm was close. [ Laughter ]
-Maybe we’ll give you credit. I know, it’s tough right?
-Wow. -It’s a mental game, right?
-Holy cow. -All right, oh, no.
This one looks big. Why is this box bigger
than the other box? [ Audience oohs ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Ominous music plays ] -You’ve got to go down. [ Laughter ] I mean, once you —
once you feel the top, you’ll want to go down.
[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ I don’t even know what it is. [ Laughter ] ♪♪ Oh, my gosh. You’ve got this.
You got it! No! [ Screaming ]
-[ Screaming ] [ Laughter ]
-Is it — did it lick me? [ Laughter ] There’s wetness. There’s wetness
on my finger right now. Something liquidy is in there. -Yeah. -Oh, it’s liquid. It’s warm. It’s going to be an amphibian.
It’s going to be a frog. A frog. -I’m looking at it,
and I have no idea what it is. [ Buzzer ] -Should I just try to touch it
one more time? [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -It appears to be docile. ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -[ Screaming ] Ew! Ew! Gross! Disgusting! Ew! Was it an eel or a snake
or something? An eel? What is that? -I don’t know what it is.
[ Buzzer ] -What is that? Ew! [ Laughter ] Are you joking me? That is not in the rules at all
or any respect for me at all. What in the hell is that?
-I have no idea. -What is that? -It’s a lung fish.
-Lung fish? What is a lung fish?
-I don’t know. -Oh, my God.
Is it like a catfish? -He’s a sleepy lung fish. [ Audience awws ] I want to touch him. Aw, guys. I want to cook it.
-All right — Oh, my God. [ Laughter and applause ] No cooking any of our animals.
-That’s where my mind goes. -All right, you are up now.
Here you go. Good luck. It’s fun.
It’s going to be fine. [ Audience groans ] You want a hint?
-I mean, yes. -Have you seen “Jurassic Park”?
-Oh, my gosh! [ Laughter ] Is it Bryce Dallas Howard?
[ Laughter ] -I wish. [ Cheers and applause ] -You guys. [ Ominous music plays ] -Dude, just —
This is legendary, dude. That’s all I’m saying. -[ Screaming ] [ Laughter ] ♪♪ What happened? What happened?
What happened? -It bit me.
-Oh, my gosh. Well, it bit you.
We can give this one away. It is a toy. It’s a toy dinosaur. [ Sad tuba plays ] [ Applause ] It didn’t really bite you. Send whoever’s in here away. -I’m sorry.
-Was that frightening? -I thought it could have
been John for a second. -Oh, my gosh.
-I know. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. This is real.
-This is real, right? -People don’t get it. [ Audience ohhs ] -Wait! Wait!
-I’m out. -We’re supposed to do
this together. -No, man. No! No. -This is —
-No. This is my —
-What are you talking about? This last one we’re supposed
to one-hand in together. -No! -Well, now you’ve seen it!
-I saw it. I’m 1,000% not. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ This is might be the worst one
I’ve ever seen on here! -Stop it right now.
-That’s all I want to say. [ Laughs ] -[ Screaming ] [ Laughter ] -Too mad, so sad, everything — -Okay. [ Laughter ] You guys… [ Audience cheering ] -I have no idea what it is
at all. But I did touch it right? [ Buzzer ]
-That was good though. -I’ll guess. Is it a snake
or something like that? Or — is it a lizard?
-No. -Oh, is it a frog?
[ Sad tuba plays ] [ Laughter ]
Are you out of your mind?! What in the — what? Is that cockroaches?! -Yeah.
-Are you out of your mind?! -Like I —
-Oh, my gosh! -I’ll touch anything, but…
-Oh, my gosh! ♪♪ -My thanks to Chrissy Teigen.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Reality pranks the Big Ass Spider In the City
Prank OH MY GOD thats a big ass spider was coming at me , ahhh jesus ” man laughing” [Girl screaming and laughing] Oh My Goodness that was a fucking spider thats bullshit dude Lady Screams oh no…. no…
Woman Screams oh Woman Screams and starts laughing at the prank Oh !.. Woman Screams …. Oh My God Laughing Oh Shoot middle eastern music plays woman screams [haunting
music score] man screams and laughs that was very funny by the way whoa that scared the shit out of me oh shit hahahaha
is that the black widow dam action music playful music
plays dog whimpers they picked the dog up…hahaha hip hop music plays
do what you want cause a pirate is free you are a pirate Iridessa cleitus i are i D Oh see I see i t i s ehre dosa colitis era dosa colitis is spelled ir i do cycl i t i thank you so much everyone he is such a happy kid just a good [Applause] Kabara Goya Kabara Goya I know it okay Guevara Goya CA be a ra Geo y a khabar Goa what come paranoia has spelled ka ba ra GOI a logorrhea L Oh Geo Lauria that is that is correct and that will in the fourth round of the ham Ridge National Spelling Bee before we go Ron I would just like to say that all of our contestants have shown an amazing amount of Drive and perseverance and no matter what happens you’re all winners and now onto the fifth round next contestant your word is nigger I’m sorry what nigger okay can I get a definition the definition is nigger can I get the country of origin of course originating from the greco-roman nigger and the Latin based baguette nigger can use the word in a sentence nigger get that nigger out of here nigger near feck and I GI I can’t do this alright I’m sorry that’s incorrect you’re disqualified the next contestant your word is also nigger um can I have a synonym pineapple really no not really no I don’t know may I have the word in its original pronunciation of course nigga nigger and i-g-g-y or I cannot do this this is incorrect you are disqualified I’m sorry next contestant um you are the last one standing in the world of written word there is no higher and IG ger fagg0t nigger that is correct I heard what you said Negus Negus was the language Georgian Ethiopian to Amharic what’s the definition a king it’s used as a title of the sovereign of Ethiopia Negus Jesus it’s the Negus ruled Ethiopia until the coup of 1974 could you repeat the definition a king it’s used as a title of the sovereign of Ethiopia Negus niggas and Andrew just say the word loudly for the judges niggas one more time vania’s niggas niggas in eg here as niggas absolutely stunned but he’ll take it again when in doubt sound it out spell it just like it sounds when it pays off every once in a while when in doubt sound it out have to remember that Hera may be speed the word heron me please gift an infinite give me the definition a wading bird that has a long neck and legs a long tapering bill with a sharp point and sharp cutting edges large wings and soft plumage a piece of lead to her Heron may you please is in the sentence if Gale had not seen the Heron fly down from the tree she would have insisted that’s a huge bird nested on the ground you pleased to be through heron what’s the word again heron hair wink Heron hair bow hair run airline heron early heron may be speedran Heron Heron Heron Heron herring hair run a ring hair run here one Heron heroine make peace be third please hair run please give me the definition a wading bird that has a long neck and legs a long tapering bill with a sharp point and sharp cutting edges heron hero3 a platoon
The Ants go marching one by one Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching one by one Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to suck his thumb and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain Boom boom boom The Ants go marching two by two Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching two by two Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching two by two, the little stops to tie his shoe and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain Boom boom boom The Ants go marching three by three Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching three by three Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching three by three, the little stops to climb a tree and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain The Ants go marching four by four Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching four by four Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching four by four, the little one stops to shut the door and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain Boom boom boom The Ants go marching five by five Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching five by five Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching five by five, the little one stops to take a dive and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain Boom boom boom The Ants go marching six by six Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching six by six Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching six by six, the little one stops to pick up sticks and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain The Ants go marching seven by seven, Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching seven by seven, Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching seven by seven, the little stops top pray to heaven and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain The Ants go marching eight by eight, Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching eight by eight, Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching eight by eight, the little one stops to roller skate and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain The Ants go marching nine by nine, Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching nine by nine, Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching nine by nine, the little one stops to check the time and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain Boom boom boom The Ants go marching ten by ten Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching ten by ten Hurrah Hurrah! The Ants go marching ten by ten, the little one stops to shout THE END! and they all go marching down, to the ground, to get out of the rain Boom boom boom
-Congrats, by the way, on the new Marvel chapter
in your life. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, thank you. Mysterio.
-They know. Dude, it was a big deal
when the trailer came out. You’re gonna be Mysterio
in the new “Spider-Man.” -Yes.
-And I was psyched about that. And I saw that Ryan Reynolds,
our pal, posted a — I’m gonna cross this out ’cause there was a couple
dirty words. You can’t see it.
-Oh, wow. -Ryan Reynolds posted a photo
of you and Hugh Jackman at a holiday party. -That’s Photoshopped.
We weren’t actually together. [ Laughter ] -And it said, “These dudes
said it was a sweater party.” So, you —
[ Laughter ] Yeah. I think it’s the greatest
photo — greatest reaction. I just loved that.
And I thought it was great. So then,
you finally joined Instagram. -Yeah.
-You, what — I mean — [ Cheers and applause ]
-You’re the last holdout! -Thank you!
I mean — -You’re the last holdout, dude.
We’ve been waiting for you. -The last person
to join Instagram. -Yes, Instagram’s
been waiting for you. -Yeah, I came to the conclusion that nobody cares
about anything anymore, so I should join Instagram.
[ Laughter ] -No, people — They care.
-Oh, they do? -Yeah.
That’s why they join Instagram. -Oh, yeah, no.
-They care about everybody. -I’m not even sure
if I’m on Instagram. -You’re definitely on.
-I am? -I’ve seen you on Instagram.
-No, I’m on Instagram. -Yeah, you are.
-I’m on Instagram. -Well, you took that photo —
That was that photo. And then, you took —
You Photoshopped that photo. And then, you,
Deadpool, you’re on Wolverine — Is that bubble boy?
-Yes, that is bubble — [ Laughter ] And Spider-Man, too,
in the corner. -Yeah, that’s Spidey
over there in the corner. -That’s Spider-Man
in the corner. That’s actually
a guy named Bosslogic. He did that actually. -Oh, is that
who did that for you? -Yeah, we should give
a shout-out to that guy, ’cause I have
no artistic skill whatsoever. There’d be no possibility
that I could pull that off. -Bosslogic?
-Bosslogic, yeah. -“Baas” or “Boss”?
-I don’t know, man. -I mean, do you know somebody
named Bosslogic? -That’s the guy
who did that picture — Bosslogic.
-“Ba-sla-jik.” -His name is “Bas-laji.”
-“Bas-laji.” -Oh, Bosslogic.
-It’s Bosslogic. -Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, no, of course. -He’s amazing.
-Nikolai Baslajic, yeah. [ Laughter ]
He’s a CIA agent. He’s wanted in 30 countries.
-Yes, in Baslajica. Baslajica — that’s where
he’s from, of course. But, dude,
here’s you as Mysterio. Look at this.
You came on the screen, people went “Whoa!”
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ] -Oh, and how’s —
See what I’m saying, dude? -Who knew —
Who knew that — The thing is, is like,
those are the actual green lasers
that I shoot out of my hands. -Yes, I’ve known that for years. -That’s what I can do,
and that’s why they hired me. -And finally, you can put that
to good use in a film. -Yeah, finally!
Finally! -I mean, you play tricks when you’re in movie theaters
and stuff. -When I was a kid,
my dad’s like, “What are we gonna do
with this kid.” -Laser hands!
Oh, my gosh. And now, here you are
in a big-time movie. -Yeah!
It paid off, man. -How’s Tom Holland?
-He’s great, dude. -Dude, he’s great?
-He’s awesome. -Yeah, he’s good.
-He’s the nicest guy. In the world.
-He is. -I’m super into him
as Spider-Man. -Yeah.
But I think it’s more fun what you’re doing on Instagram. You’re kind of
trolling him a little bit. -My God.
This whole Instagram thing… You’re really into it.
-Dude, I’m totally — -You are obsessed
with my Instagram. -Oh, yes, your Instagram.
-[ Laughing ] Yeah, follow Jake on Instagram,
@jakegyllenhaal. -That’s my name.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] I’m surprised you got that name ’cause you weren’t
on Instagram so long. Somebody else probably took it. -I think someone
snatched it up pretty early. -Did you have to buy it
from a stranger? -[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ] -That said
that they were Jake Gyllenhaal? -No.
Someone got it for me. [ Laughter ] -Just tell me.
-I got friends. -Was it Baslajic?
-Baslajic. [ Laughter ] -I don’t know about that guy.
That guy can do anything. You want it done,
call Baslajic. -Bosslogic is freaking out
right now. -He will take care of it, man. He will take care
of all of it. -I had it.
Someone had it. I don’t know how he had it,
but we had it. -Well, you have it now.
It’s @jakegyllenhaal. And you posted this funny thing,
I thought, of Tom Holland. I think he was
just doing an interview. You took all the vocals —
all the audio out of his interview,
added this weird music. Just watch. ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -Oh!
-Yeah. -He’s just…amazing. [ Laughter ] -He’s just dreamy.
-He just is.