How to cook a cockroach

How to cook a cockroach


Pushkar : So, our mission today is to fry this cockroach We also have a little bit of oil here *laughter* One… two… three… four packets of oil And this… is our, what do you call it… This is our stove We’ll just place it right here And then light the fire And then fry it, here over the water We’re gonna fry it, you cunts! Anjan : That’s not water, you cunt *laughter* Anjan : I have to record from the beginning now Pushkar : Damn! You cunt! Anjan : What can I do? He called while I was recording! Cunt! Now continue Leave it, cunt Pushkar : Okay, so now we’ll commence our marvelous job 1, 2, 3… AH! *lights fire* Anjan : Are you burning plastic? Pushkar : Oh no!
Prabesh : Listen to Ace Ventura & Astrix, they’re awesome! Pushkar : Ya, Ace Ventura Anjan : Hey, the plastic’s gonna smell really bad! Anjan : Plastic smells bad Pushkar : Doesn’t matter motherfucker Anjan : Son of a bitch! Plastic really does smell horrible Prabesh : Holy shit! Don’t make the fire so fierce *laughs* Don’t make the fire so fierce, that’s enough! That’s enough! Anjan : I’m telling you the plastic smells bad, motherfucker! Prabesh : Add the oil! Add it first! Pushkar : Where’s the scissors? *laughs* Anjan : Seasoning! *laughs* Seasoning We have to make it spicy! Isn’t that right? Pushkar : This thing called fire lights up really quick You guys don’t have to worry about that You only have to worry about how I cook Ya, you can also taste it for free This right here is our, Bibek’s son He’s a martyr. Former army Today morning, I was dancing. While dancing, when trying to perform a backflip. It went SMASH When I checked it out, it turned out to be a cockroach It was buffalo’s (Bibek’s) army Little buffalo Anjan : Make it quick, cunt! Pushkar : Motherfucker, oil isn’t coming out *inaudible* Anjan : He’s teaching us to cook Pushkar : He’s right Look lad, Aakash is already here and we’re cooking vegetables here Preparing food for our trek Prabesh : Pushkar, turn on the lights Pushkar : This my last day in hostel to cook After this I’m not gonna be here Prabesh : Don’t add too much oil Pushkar : No we need to add more how is it gonna get friend without oil? Okay done, finally We’ll do seasoning after a while, not right now Anjan : Don’t light that up, cunt. Light the newspaper instead Prabesh : That’ll get put out really quick Light up the plastic, doesn’t matter if it smells *lights paper* Anjan : Heat it, fast *Pushkar laughs crazily* Prabesh : Burn the plastic as I said Pushkar : Today I came to know that making a fire is such a difficult task Prabesh : Burn two or three *phone rings* Pushkar : Pick up the phone, cunt Anjan, pick up the phone! *phone keeps ringing* *talking on phone* You psychos Ooooh, the oil is heating up I’m having a hope that our experiment is gonna be succesful Prabesh : Has it already boiled? Pushkar : About to Prabesh : Do it quick Pushkar : Come closer Today I’m gonna cook Bibek’s army One! Tw.. *gets interrupted* Let the light come Ready? One! Two! Three! Chrrrrrrrrr Motherfucker! Today is my farewell party Add the seasoning now Prabesh : Laughing to tears so early in the morning Pushkar : What the hell? Fire’s put out I need fire Hold this bro Wait, wait, wait You’re the cameraman. The cameraman’s not holding it.

Repair Cockroach Infested No Power MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Early 2015)

Repair Cockroach Infested No Power MacBook Pro (Retina, 13-inch, Early 2015)


Today, we are repairing a MacBook Pro. Model A1502. Connect to power. No response. Light is off. See the meter on the power supply. First, a visual inspection. See the bottom case. Cockroaches. All the bits here. Roaches. Cockroaches likely caused the power issue. Unplug the battery. Peel the sticker off. The motherboard. Look for liquid damage. Many cockroaches here. Everywhere. And the Liquid Contact Indicator is red. That means liquids or cockroaches have infiltrated the motherboard. Check the other side. More cockroaches here. No significant corrosion detected. Connect to power. To check power issues. Try with just the motherboard. With motherboard only, there is no current or light. The readings show no change. Remove the hard drive. Motherboard part number is 820-4924-A. Serial number here. CPU and memory size. Open schematic and board drawings. Let’s check the main power bus PP3V42_G3_REG. This one here. PP3V42_G3H_REG controls the green light circuit. Check if voltage is produced here. L7095. This inductor is on the other side. This is the inductor. Check its resistance to ground with our multimeter. Set to ohms. Diode mode. Resistance is normal at 304 Ω. Ground resistance is normal. Connect to power. Test the inductor for voltage. The inductor has no voltage. Trace the inductor’s voltage to check the circuit. Have a look at this chip. What U7090 needs. First, power supply from pin 6. Here, through these diodes to here. Check pin 6 on U7090 for power. Test for voltage. No voltage on pin 6. Let’s try pin 1 on D7005. See if pin 1 has voltage. No voltage. Investigate further along. There is no voltage at D7005. Try further up the circuit. On top, the fuse F7005. Here’s the power source connector J7000. Power goes through the fuse. Then forks into two routes. One leads here to power a chip. The other leads to the charging chip. Good. Now locate F7005. Over here, test this inductor. Inductors have power on both sides. Inductors conduct electricity. After the inductor, a certain Q7010. Check this MOSFET Q7010. Pin 1 for voltage. Here is Q7010, the transistor. Test shows no voltage. This means voltage does not reach here. Power is lost after the transistor Q7010. Now look at pin 4. Test Q7010’s gate for voltage. Pin 4 is 17.38 V. This is a p-channel MOSFET. Pin 4 must pulled to ground for current to flow. So we have a problem here. Have a look under a microscope. We can clearly see the Q7010 I was measuring earlier . And beside it, a corroded resistor. This chip and pin are also corroded. The resistor and chip are all corroded. First, let’s replace the resistor. Here it is, R7011. R7011. When power reaches here, it is cut. Causing voltage to go over 17.0 V. 17.0 V because it was not split. After changing the resistor, connect to power. Light still does not show. No change in current. There are other problems. Now, let’s check if voltage goes through the resistors and getting split. Check if there are problems with the pins. Over here is resistor R7010. Find pin 1 and 2. It is 17.4 V. Look at this diode. This diode connects to ground and the resistors,
to R7011. Maybe the diode is faulty. Because pins 1 & 2 have the same voltage. Normally, this diode drains to ground to give 6.8 V here. This diode regulates voltage. Try changing the diode. Both pads show no voltage. Connect power after changing the diode. The light comes on. Current has started flowing. R7011 goes to Q7010’s gate. Voltage at pin 4 is 6.8 V. That is normal. Test the voltage again. It should be 6.8 V. It is normal. Test voltage at the inductor again. 3.43 V. It is normal. Good. Put everything back together.

Cockroaches!

Cockroaches!


Hi guys, welcome back to Animal Wonders Insects are the most numerous animals on our planet We’ve identified over eight hundred thousand species and scientists estimate there may be more like ten million species What makes them so successful is their diversity. Some of their adaptations are so extreme that they look like they came out of a sci-fi story. While all insects are interesting, Today I want to focus on just one group, and then one specific species. Today, let’s talk about cockroaches. Most people aren’t thrilled when they think about a cockroach. And that’s understandable, because lots of people have had to deal with them as pests. But I think cockroaches are awesome. Did you know that there are about four thousand species of cockroaches? But only about about thirty species are considered pests Most cockroach species live in niche habitats away from human populations. Which is probably a good thing, because some tropical species can get huge. Some have four inch bodies, others have seven inch wingspans and there are even some that can weigh up to eighty-eight grams Here’s one of the larger species: the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach I’m wearing a glove because recently I’ve become severely allergic to cockroaches but I still want to share them with you because I think they’re really cool. These guys live on the forest floors of Madagascar and they make their living eating dead plants and animals and fallen fruit Let’s take a closer look at these guys First, you’ll notice that they don’t have any wings, like other species. And what you thought was their head is really the hard armor on their back. Their head is actually underneath, right here And here you can see their eyes and their antennae Now, look at these two next to each other. Can you see the difference between their antennae? The one on the left is thick and fuzzy, while the one on the right is skinny and smooth. Now, there’s another between them too. Can you see it? Check out these bumps. These raised portions are used like horns and only the males have them They use them to fight for territory and access to females. So this one with the fuzzy antennae and horns is a male, and his name is Rick. And this one with the smooth antennae and the smaller bumps is the female. Her name is Sue But do you know what’s really neat? Rick and Sue are descendants of cockroaches that lived hundreds of millions of years ago. Prehistoric cockroach fossils have been dated back to three hundred fifty million years ago And modern day cockroaches date back to about two hundred million years ago During this time cockroaches have adapted to be the ultimate survivors. They can eat just about anything and they can survive without food for up to six weeks. They can do this because they have a secret sidekick. Intercellular bacteroids live inside specific cells in every cockroach. And they’re passed from mother to offspring. This bacteria produces all the amino acids and vitamins that the cockroach needs to survive So that’s how cockroaches can live off foods that are lacking nutrients, like grease, or the glue on the back of a stamp. Cockroaches begin life as a little tiny egg that’s often carried around inside the mother or deposited in a safe location. Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches like Sue, will carry thirty to sixty eggs inside her in a special case called an ootheca. After about sixty day, the nymphs hatch out inside her body, and then she gives birth to live young. The babies molt six times before reaching maturity at seven months old. Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches are unusually long-lived insects with a lifespan of two to five years In order to reach five years old, they also have to survive by not getting eaten, so they use camouflage to blend in, but they also really like to hide, the smaller the space, the better. They are thigmotropic, meaning they feel most comfortabe when their bodies are in contact with something solid, preferably from all sides. So maybe we should go hug a cockroach! Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches have a unique way of interacting with each other The males have a hierarchy which they establish by duking it out with their horns but they also have verbal communication too. It’s pretty common for vertebrates to use their respiratory system to produce sounds Like birdsong, or human voices or hissing snakes. But most insects make noise by rubbing two body parts together, like crickets. Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches defy the rules and produce their sounds by expelling air our of their spiracles Spiracles are tiny holes that run along their body that they use to breathe. The males actually have three distinct hisses that they use for communication They’ll hiss at each other during battles and usually the louder hisser is the winner They also have a warning hiss that they do when they’re startled And they’ll hiss to impress the ladies. It’s even thought that they know the difference between familiar cockroaches and strangers Which is so cool! Speaking of neat behaviors, have you ever heard of the study done by Pavlov, where he would ring a bell just before feeding his dogs? Eventually, the dogs began associating the bell with food, and so they would start drooling when they heard it, because they thought food was coming. Well, the same study was done on cockroaches and guess what happened? The cockroaches drooled too. When I watch our cockroach colony, I’m amazed by their little world Full of hierarchies determined by horn battles eating whatever they want, dramatic courtships and really, everyone just wants to be hugged. Getting to spend time with cockroaches in an unorthodox way like caring for and propagating a colony instead of viewing them as pests in my home has allowed me to see them in a different light. They’re incredibly interesting and it makes me wonder what else there is to learn about other often overlooked species. I can’t wait to find out, and I hope you keep wondering too. If you’d like to go on an adventure with us every week subscribe to our youtube channel Animal Wonders Montanna And if you have any questions for me, you can leave them in the comments below and we’ll see you next week

Get Rekt by Cockroach

Get Rekt by Cockroach


Hello my fellow robots! This (is) NatnatGaming101 And today were playing “Super Kid Bros. 3” Ipis! (Cockroach!) *Scream* *Intense Screaming*

With What Ass Does the Cockroach Sit? / Con Que Culo Se Sienta la Cucaracha?

With What Ass Does the Cockroach Sit? / Con Que Culo Se Sienta la Cucaracha?


[APPLAUSE]
>>Woo, [FOREIGN] okay, you have horses, you have dogs, you have cats, you have everything, right? So what’s missing? La cucaracha, that’s right. I know for those of you,
how many Latinos in the house?>>[APPLAUSE]
>>Okay, some. How many of you know the story of
La Cucarachita Martina, la cucaracha?>>[FOREIGN]
>>Okay, a couple of you, not a lot, okay?>>[LAUGH]
>>So for those of you who don’t know, I’m gonna tell you very, very quickly. This is a story about a love that dared
not speak its name between a cockroach and a mouse. And it was a cockroach that lives
in Spain, a very pretty cucaracha, who’s always cleaning, this cucaracha
is always cleaning with a broom. And one day, she finds a coin. And then she thinks,
what can I buy with that coin, what? Well, what would she buy
if she’s a cockroach? Face powder, of course.>>[LAUGH]
>>So she puts a little makeup on. She looks so good and so hot that
all the animals want to marry her. So they all come courting,
there is the duck, quack, quack, quack. But she goes, okay, she has to ask
them how they will talk to her. And if they talk nice,
she’s gonna marry one of them. But she has the frog, the frog goes okay,
Mr Senor Frog, how would you talk to me? And the frog goes,
barum barum barum barum, or in English, it would be ribbit, ribbit, ribbit. He goes, I know that sound’ll drive
me crazy morning, noon, and night. You guys do not shut up, forget about it. And then the rooster comes in, and she goes okay, rooster,
how would you talk to me? And the rooster goes [SOUND],
cuz it’s a Spanish rooster. The American rooster
will cock-a-doodle-doo, cock-a-doodle-doo, okay?>>[LAUGH]
>>So then she says my God, no, that’s a lot of noise, okay? That’s a lot of noise. And then comes a little [FOREIGN],
Perez, the mouse who everybody believes is a full blooded royal
mouse, who knows how to curtsy very well. So she goes, okay, [FOREIGN] Perez,
how would you talk to me? And the [FOREIGN] Perez goes choo,
choo, choo, choo. My God, she falls in love,
they get married. She dances flamenco at the wedding,
then one day, look, there she.>>[LAUGH]
>>She’s singing flamenco at the wedding. Let me see if I see the,
here’s Perez, you know Perez? Okay, she’s in the balcony. Perez is courting,
then she dances flamenco. Then one day for the holiday,
she is cooking a nice sweet dessert. So she’s cooking a nice sweet dessert,
but she’s also very clean. There she is cooking the dessert. But she’s very clean, so she keeps
on with the broom cleaning outside. She leaves the pot burning, and the mouse Perez goes,
it smells delicious, I wonder what it is. So he gets up on a little stool,
like we have our chair like this. He gets up on the stool or a chair. And he sees a little almond. He thinks, I’m gonna get that almond. And when he goes to get that almond,
he flips over and goes into the pot and boils to death.>>[LAUGH]
>>Look, I know, this is what they tell children
before they go to bed. Look, these are the little feet, okay. The little feet of the poor mouse,
look at this. Thank you very much. Look at the little feet, okay? This is horrible, horrible, but so what happened with the cucaracha,
well, she sings, she becomes a widow. And she sings and
she sings to her little mouse, Perez. She never forgets him, but
she ends up being a widow. So, it’s a beautiful story that we
tell the children of Latin America, it’s very well known.>>[LAUGH]
>>And besides Kafka’s Metamorphosis,
Joan Didion’s Miami, and George Orwell’s Animal Farm,
Perez Martina was one of my inspirations. So this dramatic story I’m going to do for you today is based on
the Elián González story. I don’t know how many of you know,
but Elián González was a little boy, five years old, who went on a trip,
and he was shipwrecked, found at sea. And then his custody battle
created an international crisis. So, the title of my piece
is called [FOREIGN]. With what ass does a cockroach sit,
and I will try, like Translafsky, to become a cockroach. Can you tell I’m a Cuban cockroach? Okay.>>[LAUGH]
>>Okay, but I’m not feeling so cucaracha today.>>[LAUGH]
>>I think this is a little off. I’ll just put it here. Yes, it’s good to change things. Okay, I’m not feeling cucaracha. I don’t know why, but
you know what I think? [FOREIGN] The shoes,
now that’s more cucaracha, right? That’s more cucaracha, okay. Quick, hide. Quick, hide. That should be my name, not Martina. That’s what they should put on my
tombstone, here lies quick, hide. The life of a cucaracha is really tough. People think we’re dirty. But what do they expect when
we gotta hide all the time? Inside a greasy stove, under a dresser
with a dust bunny the size of a bull frog. And only if you’re really lucky, behind a can of Planters peanuts that have
been opened, and you can lick the salt. We suffer so much anxiety. You gotta have eyes in the back of
your head cuz you never know where the danger’s coming from. But I shouldn’t complain,
this is a good family situation for me. The old man is 80 years old and
slow as molasses, and Catalina, my best friend,
is a very generous parrot, but bossy. I gotta do all her leg work
cuz I got six legs and she’s got two, and
she’s got to be inside her cage. Everyday at 9 AM,
I gotta go into her old man’s bedroom to see if he’s packing
a suitcase to leave on a trip. And she’s so strict with me, we gotta have
vocabulary lessons at 12 before lunch. And then at 3, [FOREIGN], [FOREIGN],
not just regular [FOREIGN] but [FOREIGN] with a discussion. And she gets upset with me if I say
something she don’t wanna hear. [FOREIGN] Like my grandfather used to say, [FOREIGN] you don’t tell the king
what he don’t wanna hear. No?>>[LAUGH]>>[SOUND] Practice makes perfect.>>[LAUGH]
>>[FOREIGN] Where is Martina? I’ve never met a cucaracha more resistant. Any type of intellectual
stimulation is like a punishment. How many times have I told her we must
feed our brains as well as our souls? And to think I was once like her. La salvaje, a wild savage. I was not born in Havana, but
some called me, [FOREIGN]. No, this grande dame of Havana
was born in the jungle, and taken by a man who took even parrots
to sell in the black market. And that’s how my brother, Francisco,
now Harry, ended up in Chicago.>>[LAUGH]
>>And I ended up with my old man, the Grammy winning singer of
the Nueva Vista Social Club. My Grammy winner, so handsome. [FOREIGN]
Big bags under his eyes, magic fingers that can pluck the guitar. And massage my [SOUND] cranium [LAUGH]. My old man and I, we’re going to
be doing a duet together of a CD. And that’s why I work hard
to elevate myself and learn a new vocabulary word every day. Yesterday’s word was succinct.>>[LAUGH]
>>Martina should be happy. How many roaches are there that learn
vocabulary and live in such splendor? A cage that’s the exact replica
of the Palace of Versailles. My mirrors! My Louis Quatorze chair! And my divan. Most people are hungry in Cuba,
I am like Marie Antoinette. I say, let them eat cake [FOREIGN]
>>[LAUGH]>>Martina, Martina! [FOREIGN]
Where were you? I assume there’s nothing to report. No suitcase, no packing going on. He’s not going away on a singing trip, no.>>No, no packing, no suitcase,
no, not like that, no.>>Okay,
let us begin with our vocabulary lesson. The word for today is, petits pois,
that’s French for peas. Repeat after me. Petits pois. Again?>>[LAUGH]
>>Again? Now a sentence. I love my petits pois.>>[LAUGH]
>>Is that it?>>[LAUGH]
>>Very well. What, you’re not staying
to hear Bertha the Bee, the animal internet’s new reporter? Keep on buzzing Bertha? You think she’s dry? Don’t you mean succinct?>>[LAUGH]
>>Yes, I know you like Lumumba the Lizard’s
reporting but he’s old. Yes, very well, go, meet Lumumba, but
remember café con leche is at 3:00. And our discussion is
going to be a good one, all about Spain becoming the biggest
investor in the Cuban economy. [FOREIGN]
Lumumba.>>[LAUGH]
>>Lumumba.>>Poor guy,
his legs don’t have good suction no more. To think that I used to
live in this apartment! This was a very bad family situation for
me. A lot of danger, and no food! One week I was on a strict diet of hair. Hair is so bad for the digestion!>>[LAUGH]
>>[LAUGH]>>A shadow around me, ow, ow, ow. Hey, kid your finger on
my antenna is killing me. What, you’re a good boy and you gotta kill me cuz nobody likes
roaches in the house, they’re dirty. No, no that’s a lie, a lie. You’re a good boy and you don’t lie, and you like to play with the tourist children
at the hotel where your father works. But the tourist children got bigger,
better toys than you, a power ranger and an SUV. But you got toys that are magic,
a rock and a stick, and they can fly. You’re a smart boy! And you like to wash your daddy’s car? So bye bye dirty roach, I kill you. No, no, kid, I’m very clean! I’m so clean, I’m friends with the Queen! What Queen you ask, what’s your name? Elian Gonzalez, the Queen of Spain. You saw her on TV? You love TV? Me too. Take your finger off my antenna and
I’ll tell you all about it.>>[LAUGH]
>>No, no won’t run, I promise. See Elian, I was in a flamenco dancing contest, that’s right. I was the best dance of
flamenco in all of Cuba. And that’s how I got to be the roach
in waiting to the Queen of Spain. Yes sit down, I’ll tell you all about it,
no I won’t run. There I was, dancing, dancing, dancing,
with a mantilla on my head, ole. What? Yeah, they cut two little
holes on my mantilla so my antennacles stick out, yeah.>>[LAUGH]
>>Elian, and when queens eat,
what do queens usually have? A crown, yeah but she doesn’t wanna wear a
crown cuz she wants to be more democratic. No, more communist, no more capital,
the pallet is got me mixed up, okay. Look, queens have banquets, the only problem is that
the banquet Is in a restaurant. And there’s nothing that restaurant
owners hate more than us roaches. But I, [LAUGH] [FOREIGN], I jump on the back of the queen’s
dress and hold on to the back. My god, it was so pretty, I had to
read the label, Carolina Herrera and when I look up, the restaurant
owner staring at me with such hate. But I stare right back,
he can’t do a thing. He wacks me, he wacks the Queen. [LAUGH]
>>[LAUGH]>>I went down on the back of the Queen’s dress, holding on and
waving just like the Queen. Elian, you try the royal wave. That’s right, that’s right, and I made
the headlines in the animal internet. That’s the AI, where we get the news.>>[LAUGH]
>>[FOREIGN] Dines with the Queen of Spain. What? You wanna kiss me? So, I turn into a princess. No chico, that happens in fairy tales. If you kiss me, I’ll be a roach, but
a roach in waiting to the Queen of Spain. Quick, hide. Quick, hide. Thanks, kid. Look at that. He’s waving at me. Martina, [FOREIGN]. Where were you? My old man’s coming any moment now. There he is. Quick, hide,
hide under the sun flower seeds. [FOREIGN]
>>[LAUGH]>>I’m hiding under the sunflower seeds and I see the old man shuffling and
singing. And he’s calling Catalina
the flower of his existence. And then, he tells her that he’s
going on a singing trip to Miami. My God, she loses it. No Miami, no Miami, no, no Miami, no! Well, the guy, he’s a smooth operator,
because then he says, they’re gonna do a CD together and
that he’s gonna give her a massage. When he says massage, that’s the key word. I see, Papi.>>[LAUGH]
>>Give it to me, Papi. Give it to me, give it to me,
give it to me. [LAUGH]
>>[INAUDIBLE] An old man and a parrot,
that relationship is not healthy okay.>>[LAUGH]
>>But life is good for me here. All I gotta do is shut up,
I’m getting good at climbing the dresser where the old
man keeps his postcards. I could use a little contemplating. There is nothing more relaxing than
contemplating on top of a postcard. My favorite is Rio de Janeiro,
where Yemaya has there feast day. I love Yemaya because
she respects roaches. Thank you, Yemaya for not letting believing I was a dirty,
dumb, disgusting roach. [SOUND] Contemplating is good.>>[LAUGH]
>>We roaches, we are bumpy bugs. The bees, and the ants,
they’re the workaholics.>>[LAUGH]
>>We love to contemplate, yeah. [SOUND] Sometimes I don’t understand
why people hate us so much? We’ve been in this planet since the day of
the dinosaur and we are not extinct, why? Cuz we outsmart people and
we’re easygoing. How many times they hit us with a broom? And then they go find a pan or a newspaper
to pick the cadaver up and surprise!>>[LAUGH]
>>And then they yell [FOREIGN]
where did that [FOREIGN] go?>>[LAUGH]
>>We outsmart people, yeah! We live, we are survivors. We live even if our lives
are full of insult. Martina, Martina Martina, you miss pertha. But I will tell you the news. In that old French tradition,
that of the tour and the lead story today is such a tragedy. A tragedy, a tragedy, I love a tragedy. Please, can I rip a little piece of
paper from your cage to use as a hanky? If you must. It all started at 4 AM in the morning, 14
people hurdled together by some trees and shrubs to the shore boarded
a boat to leave Cuba. Last passengers were young mother and
her boy El Nino, five years old, isn’t it something? [FOREIGN] The queen,
the pope, Leonardo DiCaprio, they all come to Cuba by plane,
and then others, they go by boat. Are you finished?>>[LAUGH]
>>Before they boarded the boat, the boy turned to look back, but
what he, the mother bent down and said [FOREIGN] don’t look back. There’s a future [FOREIGN].>>[LAUGH]
>>The captain of the boat took the boy from her,
he was her boyfriend. And when the mother saw the boat packed
like a can of sardines, she hesitated. But the boyfriend said [FOREIGN] and
she did. It was so crowded in the boat,
the mother held the boy in her arms and when the boy turned to look back and didn’t see any lights on shore
a tear trickled down his cheek. He wiped it off with the back of his hand. He want to be brave, but
he had a lump in his throat. The mother, to distract him,
pointed to the planets. There’s Pluto, Venus, Mars, she got them
all wrong but it did distract the boy. Then she starts to sing,
when you wish up on a star. Aye, nobody sings that
better than Jimminy Cricket. [FOREIGN]
>>[LAUGH]>>[FOREIGN] cannot hold a candle to my old man. Not long after that,
not long after that, the boat stopped and the boyfriend, the boyfriend
went to see if he could fix the motor. To make matters worse, it started to rain. The drops were the size of quarters! People start to get antsy, they,
they said what is happening, we’re not moving, we paid $1000! The boyfriend tried to fix the motor but
he couldn’t. Then the waves kept rocking more
violently from side to side. The mother put the boy down and
he almost lost his balance. A big wave poured water over them,
a woman screamed as she fell. Suddenly there was thunder and
lightning and people panic. And panic is like wildfire,
once it starts it’s impossible to put out. People rocking more violently now. Another wave of water into the boat and
the boyfriend yelled for people to calm down. Suddenly a man went overboard,
people screamed he’s drowning. The boyfriend yelled the mother to get two
inner tubes to use as a life preserver. The mother grabbed one for
the child and put it on him and then the boyfriend yelled the mother
to grab the rope he was throwing and she quickly tied the boy to the tube. And said to him Nino hold on, hold on. She was about to tie herself to the tube
when a monstrous wave was forming and growing bigger than all the others. And the weight of the passengers along
with the fury of the wave capsize the boat until all of the passenger
are hurled into the ocean. El nino? The boy, the boy was under water. He opened his eyes, he couldn’t
see a thing, he swallowed water, he gagged in a few seconds. The tube lifted him up, with the rain,
thunder and darkness he was confused. Where was his mommy? Is there someone by the sinking ship? Was that her? He tried swimming like his
father had taught him but with his arms that were too short to reach
the water and all he could do was kick, as people kept screaming and crying and
the rain was coming down hard. He tried to scream but no sound would come
out of his mouth, and the screams and the crying stopped and the only sound
was the sound of the waves and the rain. And the boy just kept kicking. [FOREIGN] Hi! I love a good kite! That was great. Martina, it’s a tragedy that
turns into a [LAUGH] comedy. Because the boy has been called
the tilt of the dolphins was rescued by two Miami dolphins,
Dolores and Dominique. They were so good to the boy, first day all cried
together the boy cried about his mother. And Dominique cried about her own
mother who died in child birth. And Dolores cried about her baby calf
who got hit by a Carnival cruise ship. Then after they cried they and
echo-located [SOUND]>>[LAUGH]>>And when the boy was hungry, he asked got milk and Dolores was
still lactating, breast at the boy and her milk was as sweet as dulce
de leche the Hagen Daas. They got along so well with
the boy they wanted to adopt him. Imagine, a boy with two mommies. But the sharks vetoed the adoption. Well they and echo located and they pushed the boy, Elian Gonzalez, to
a fishing boat so he could be picked up. Elian, Elian Gonzalez, I know him. I know him. This is not news. This is a real tragedy. I know him. Thank you very much, thank you.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>Thank you and you know what happened? You know what happened to Elian? He got sent back. In my story, this is just an excerpt in
the story, what happens is Catalina and Martina have a huge fight. In a jealous rage
the parrot hits the roach, he ends up in a luggage bound for
Miami with the old man. And she ends up next door
to Elian’s relatives. So she gets inducted in Miami into the AI,
the Animal Internet, by a transgender cat called Cassandra.>>[LAUGH]
>>And when she does get inducted into that she
actually does the interview with Elian, one to one with Elian the day that the US government sends the SWAT team to pick
up Elian and sends him back to Cuba. So the roach jumps in to Elian’s
sneaker and they fly off to Cuba, where they eventually reunite
at Martina and Catalina and they continue the vocabulary lessons and they continue their discussions
with Cafe con Leche. Thank you very much.>>[APPLAUSE]
>>Thank you.