James Corden Has Issues with Valentine’s Day

James Corden Has Issues with Valentine’s Day


TALK ABOUT, LET’S GET STARTED. AS YOU KNOW TOMORROW IS
VALENTINE’S DAY. EVERYONE EXCITED? YES? (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
BUT I UNDERSTAND YOUR EXCITEMENT BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL
VALENTINE’S DAY IS AMERICA’S FAVORITE HOLIDAY BEATING EVEN
CHRISTMAS. YEAH. (LAUGHTER)
WHICH IS AMAZING BECAUSE IT ISN’T A [BLEEP] HOLIDAY. (LAUGHTER)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) YOU HONESTLY, I’M TELLING YOU,
YOU AMERICANS HAVE GOT TO STOP WITH THESE MADE UP FAKE
HOLIDAYS. (LAUGHTER)
WHERE DOES THIS END? WHAT IS NEXT, WE’RE ALL GOING TO
BUY EACH OTHER GIFTS FOR ARBOR DAY? I MEAN COME ON. LET’S JUST LET IT BE A DAY. I LIKE VALENTINE’S DAY, I DO. WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE. THERE IS CANDY, THERE IS
CHOCOLATE, THAT IS THERE BIG HOLE INSIDE OF YOU YOU TRY TO
FILL WITH CANDY AND CHOCOLATES. SCRAL ENTIEN’S DAY OR AS A LOT
OF COUPLES CALL IT, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANT TO DO SOMETHING
THIS YEAR, HONEY, NO, I’M TOTALLY SURE, OKAY, WE WON’T. WHY AREN’T WE DOING ANYTHING. YOU CLEARLY DON’T LOVE ME DAY! YOU KNOW HOW I SAID OTHER
COUPLES AND NOT ME AND MY WIFE. (LAUGHTER)
HERE’S HOW MUCH AMERICANS LOVE THIS MADE UP HOLIDAY. ACCORDING TO ESTIMATE THIS YEAR
AMERICANS ARE EXPECTED TO SPEND AN AVERAGE OF $200 PER PERSON ON
VALENTINE’S DAY GIFTS. AND THEY WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE
IT IF YOU COULD PASS THAT INFORMATION ON TO THEIR
PARTNERS. PEOPLE PLAN TO SPEND $200 ON
GIFTS THIS YEAR. HERE’S HOW IT BREAKS DOWN. $5 ON A GIFT, AND THE REST ON
SAME DAY SHIPPING. (LAUGHTER)
IT’S TODAY, OH MY GOD. NOW VALENTINE’S DAY IS HARD FOR
SOME PEOPLE. AND IF YOU ARE DREADED TOMORROW
BECAUSE YOU HAVE RECENTLY BROKE UP WITH SOMEONE, DON’T WORRY, A
ZOO IN TEXAS HAS YOU COVERED, RIGHT. THEY SAID THEY WILL NAME A
COCKROACH AFTER YOUR EX AND FOR A SMALL DONATION THEY WILL FEED
IT TO A ZOO ANIMAL ON VALENTINE’S DAY. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
IT IS JUST A BIT OF FUN. LISTEN, IF YOUR ANSWER TO A BAD
BREAKUP IS COCKROACH SACRIFICE, I’M STARTING TO SEE WHY YOUR EX
LEFT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE. A ZOO WILL WRITE YOUR EX’S NAME
ON A COCKROACH AND FEED IT TO AN ANIMAL. NOT TO BE OUTDONE A NEARBY
AQUARIUM WILL ALSO MAKE A SPECIAL DEDICATION IF YOUR EX
GAVE YOU CRABS. DON’T CLAP, DON’T YOU DARE,
STOP, NO, NO. NO. YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THAT. WE’RE NOT, YOU ARE. AND IF YOUR TRUE LOVE, IF YOU
AND YOUR TRUE LOVE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR DINNER PLANS
TOMORROW NIGHT, ONE RESTAURANT CHAIN HAS RECENTLY BECOME QUITE
THE ROMANTIC HOT SPOT. THIS IS TRUE. THIS 24 HOUR ROADSIDE CHAIN
WAFFLE HOUSE IS NOW ACCEPTING RESERVATIONS FOR VALENTINE’S
DAY. AND THEY’RE EVEN OFFERING A
SPECIAL MENU FOR THE OCCASION. YEAH, YOU’VE HEARD OF
RESTAURANTS HAVING A BLUE PLATE SPECIAL. THIS IS MORE OF A RED FLAG
SPECIAL. (LAUGHTER)
AND THIS IS NICE. FOR AN EXTRA $5 YOU CAN GO
BEHIND THE WAFFLE HOUSE TO SELECT A COCKROACH TO FEED TO. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
WAFFLE HOUSE IS OFFERING A SPECIAL MENU WHERE YOU CAN GET A
ROMANTIC VALENTINE’S DAY MEAL FOR TWO INCLUDING THIS STACK OF
PANCAKES THAT SAY GIRL, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

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